


beyond the veil

by ghostscribe



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Mutual Pining, Paranormal, Psychic Abilities, Slice of Life, with ghosts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27097708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostscribe/pseuds/ghostscribe
Summary: "I believe in things that I can see.""And you can see ghosts... Right?"
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Comments: 84
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It's not real," he murmurs to himself, talks just to talk, as he does. "Not real."_   
>  _...He doesn't like the way the atmosphere just shifted up here._   
> 

He was warned to not stay up so late studying, but he is nothing if not stubborn.

Green kinda likes this old library, anyway. It's… a bit eerie, sure, all old buildings have a weird feeling to them. He thinks it feels a bit like a time capsule, though. He looks at these brick walls and worn books and feels like the world outside hasn't caught up to the world in here. It was one of the first places on campus that really charmed him, admittedly, and maybe it was a bit of a silly decision to say _I'm applying here_ just because it _felt_ right, but…

Well, that doesn't matter. He's here now.

Green yawns, stretches and stares out the window. Save for the street lamps, it's dark out; of course it is, it's nearly one in the morning. He knows he doesn't _need_ to be studying this late today, but he got invested and maybe a little bit sidetracked with only tangentially related research, and hey, there's no reason to shut down if he's enjoying himself.

 _Promise me you'll get out there and enjoy yourself,_ Daisy had said just before they parted ways. He doesn't think this was what she imagined he'd be doing late at night as she left him at college, but as long as he's keeping his promise, no harm, no foul.

His phone buzzes loud against the hardwood table and he jolts awake a bit, the tranquility lost and the drowsiness put on hold. 

[Ethan: yooooo dude where are u]

[Green: {An image! It's a picture of the dimly lit library.}]

[Green: got caught up readin some shit and now its 1am so thats cool ig]

[Ethan: :/ we are in week 2 dude, u dont gotta be workin so hard ahaha]

[Green: /shrug]

[Ethan: like dont u wanna party or smth]

[Green: its thursday wdym]

[Ethan: thirsty thursday baby]

[Green: we're only 18]

[Ethan: two words for u: capri sun]

[Green: yeah yeah. maybe next time]

[Ethan: :( alrighty fine. you should come home though, its super late]

[Green: yeah yeah omw]

[Ethan: hey btw have you had any ~ghost sightings~ up there?? ahaha]

[Green: pfff lmao no]

[Green: i know they talked about it at orientation but i don't buy it, they just say that for fun]

He… He doesn't _want_ to buy it, anyway. 

It's an old campus, acres of land that used to be some nobleman's manor. Inside the repurposed castles and victorian architecture comes a questionable history, and with _that_ comes the ghost stories, whatever. It didn't strike him much during his initial tour of the campus, enough so that he enrolled and committed and moved into his dorm for the year. He doesn't exactly _like_ ghosts but he'd also consider himself to be tentatively skeptical. The daunting _by the way, this campus is haunted,_ that doesn't comfort him at all, but he's just been keeping in his lane and nothing has gone wrong. 

That's not the important part of being at college, anyway. The _most_ important part is finally being away from home. He's in control here, for once in his life. It might not be the campus his gramps wanted him to go to, but in a way that's exactly what he was looking for: he gets to call the shots on his life now. He has _control._

The idea of something unseen and unknown and _threatening_ sets him on edge, eats away at his control, even eating away a simple _understanding;_ ultimately, maybe that's exactly why he hates the idea of ghosts. They turn the world on its head if they're real.

So he elects to believe they're not real, all of it is just… whatever.

"It's not real," he murmurs to himself, talks just to talk, as he does. "Not real."

...He doesn't like the way the atmosphere just shifted up here.

His masquerade of skepticism doesn't stop him from flinching when he hears a _thud_ at the end of the empty row of books, and it doesn't distract him from the fact that it's suddenly a lot colder in here - or, no, maybe he just noticed the cold, is all. The air conditioning just kicked on, probably, and just an old tilted shelf that let something slip, that has to be it. That is _it._

Still, something feels… off. At best, it's nothing to sneeze at, and at worst, it's creepy, _just_ creepy at its absolute worst. It could be worse. He could be at home. 

"...it's fine! Everything is fine."

It's dumb for him to even consider the stories, in his immediate hindsight. The library is huge. Of course he's gonna hear creaks and thumps and shit. He's been hearing them since his first visit to the library because this place is a few hundred years old. It's one of the oldest buildings on campus, in fact. It's a wonder the place hasn't gone down yet. That age is a good reason for a book falling off the shelf at the end of this row even though he's the only one in here this late, it's fine, whatever, someone just put it back on the shelf wrong. It's fine. It is _fine._

He needs to go home. It's only the second week of college and he's already pulling long nights. He just… it's compulsive, he realizes. Fun, maybe, but unnecessary. He'll burn out at this rate. He has yet to break out of his high school valedictorian habits, it seems.

"...yeah. Yeah, I should head home," he mutters to himself, and he realizes his voice doesn't quite echo. The sound insulation in here is obviously good but it's still just... so strange. It's so quiet. Feels too quiet. It'll feel better in a month when more people are in here with him at one in the morning, right? 

…he's overthinking this.

He sighs, rises from the table he's been studying at, walks to the end of the row of books. He picks up the fallen book and sets it back on the shelf, whatever. He notes, duly, that it's a scanned archive of newspapers from a few hundred years ago. 

He considers it, but ultimately decides against skimming the documents. He walks back to the table he's been at all evening and gathers the books to bring to his room. 

_Thud._

He turns around, peers into the relative darkness at the end of the aisle of books once again. Another book has fallen around the same place, and he determines it must be a faulty shelf. Not like he ever doubted that.

He finds himself picking up the same newspaper scans. Same place. Same documents. Same sort of chill. 

...faulty shelf. Of course the same thing fell off the same spot. That's not _holyfuckingshitwhatthehell -_

Something - someone just - he saw it just out of his periphery but someone rushed past the door. He's been alone all night. He _should_ be alone because the doors lock at midnight and you can only _leave_ after the doors lock, and he knows what _he's_ doing here this late at night so who the hell was _that -_

"...iiiit's getting late," muttered to himself as always, almost sung, a nervous habit that gramps used to make fun of him for when he was back home. "Gettin' late. Gonna just - gonna just grab my stuff and head on home and get the fuck to sleep and that'll be fine!" Pause. He takes a breath, settles his nerves a touch. "That'll be fine. This is _fine._ "

Green is a bit of an ambivert. Sometimes he doesn't talk to people so much but he still always _talks,_ talks to himself and talks to thin air, but the more he mumbles as he makes a break for the exit, the more he feels he's not talking to thin air. It feels like something in the empty building is listening, like the building's not so empty after all. 

As it turns out, the building is not empty.

He turns a corner down a shoddy hallway and fucking _shrieks_ (not that he'd admit it, but it is a shriek. It is not just a startled noise, it is _shrill_ ). The figure does not disappear into thin air, though, nor does it morph into something else. It is a normal human who jumps just as much as Green does at the not-screech. No ghosts here. Just… someone else up at some ungodly hour of the night. That's fine. This is fine.

Fucking _hell_ Green shouldn't be so relieved.

"S-Sorry, sorry, I kinda - didn't hear you in here. I didn't think anyone else was still around tonight," he sputters, and the boy in front of him just kinda nods. "What're you doing up this late?"

The newcomer just... kinda shrugs. Quiet. The radio silence is a little unnerving in the low, incandescent light. The hum of the bulbs is making Green's head hurt.

"...'cause like," Green continues, because he doesn't know what to say, "y'know, it's kinda weird reading up this late this early in the year, eh? My roommate kinda chewed me out for that just now, y'know, he's like _hey, go do somethin' fun,_ but y'know." He's betting the other student does not, in fact, _know,_ no matter how many times Green fills his nervous rambling with _y'know._ The other student just shrugs again and Green is at a loss for words now. "You alright?"

He nods, silently tipping the brim of his red cap down over his eyes a little. It almost looks like he's hiding, or… or fading into the shadows. Green half wonders if maybe this person is less than human after all. Either that, or Green is just losing it.

"Cool. Cool cool cool." Pause. "I'll uh... stop talkin' your ear off now. Sorry 'bout that."

"S'okay."

He looks away from Green when he speaks, and when he speaks, it's a hint of a sound more than a proper voice. He's finally answered, at least, but his voice is soft and light and a bit rough, as if he hasn't spoken in years, and it… it's almost pleasant. Would be more so, perhaps, if they weren't in this setting.

"Cool." How many more times can he say _cool_ in this conversation? "Alright, I'm uh... headin' home, I guess. East halls, y'know." Why did he tell him that. Green isn't even _asking_ himself that, it's just a statement because there is no answer that would possibly justify that. What the hell.

"Mhm." Pause. "Keep getting lost. There's a lot of buildings." God it really is like talking to a ghost with this guy. 

"Yeah - fuckin' - the way they've got the sidewalks laid out here is shit, right? 'cause like, it's an old campus, whatever, that's just _the way the goats go,_ but I don't wanna walk a möbius strip every time I wanna get to class at eight in the morning." 

The not-ghost kinda giggles, finally seems to come to life a bit. He doesn't _answer_ but somehow that stifled laugh is enough of a response. It's enough to kill the tension in the air. 

(Green neglects to acknowledge the tension in his chest, now.)

"You live in East too?" Green asks, walking down the hall toward the exit. He waves shallowly, a silent _follow me, I'm outta here,_ and the other student nods. "Gotcha, gotcha. What's your major?" 

He hesitates, kinda just... stares off into space. He's following Green but not really watching where he's going. Green gets the sense he's been awake for too long; either that, or he's just very, _very_ awkward. "Botany."

"Plant stuff, yeah? I'm in zoology - wait, we might have a couple've the same classes, actually. You in Bio 121?" He nods, silent again, spacey. "Sweet. If you ever wanna meet up and like," wait what is he saying - "study or whatever, that'd," what - "that'd be fine, yeah?"

He nods, silent, then answers. "Yeah." It's as if he's snapped out of a trance.

Green doesn't know why he's trying to bridge this gap. Just... he just feels the instinctive need to befriend this guy. He barely talks and that's making this really hard and it should be discouraging enough for Green to just _quit_ and yet... and _yet._ There's no conclusion there, just some kind of limbo in the earliest stages of knowing someone, earliest stages of _wanting_ to know someone.

It's odd. Green, though, feels he is generally a good judge of character. If he feels somewhere in his heart that this is a good friend opportunity, he'll take it.

"...sorry, did you, uh - " No, _he_ didn't, and neither did Green - "Did I introduce myself at all?"

He shakes his head. "You just screamed."

Green hopes the light in the lobby is still low enough that this guy can't tell he's blushing. "I didn't _scream,_ to be fair. Just… you startled me."

"Mhm." _Unconvinced,_ it seems. Of course he is. Moving on.

"Whatever. Anyway, uh, my name's Green. How 'bout you?"

Pause, hesitation, as if he's not sure if he wants to respond or not. "Red."

Green kinda snickers, amused. "Never met anyone else with a color name before." Red just nods, looking at corners, shadows, and it occurs to Green that Red just doesn't know where to look in a conversation. "Well, nice to meet - "

The hallway door slams behind them.

"...meet you." Pause. "Uh... heh. Prob'ly bumped the latch on our way out, yeah?"

"No."

Green stops in his tracks for a moment and looks back, gazes into the humming incandescence peering out from under the door for any signs of life. He finds nothing. Of course he finds nothing. They're alone here.

Green turns back around and finds Red is quite a ways ahead of him now. He jogs to catch up, _just_ to catch up, _not_ because he's scared. 

"So, uh, you're East too, right?" He's speaking solely to cut out the dead air, speaking to ease his nerves, as if he could, as if he knows how. 

"Mhm." And Red carries on, nonplussed, only stopping when he reaches the main exit. 

"Cool, cool." That's... what, seven nervous _cools_ tonight? "Cool." Eight. "Wanna walk back together, or are you not headin' home yet?"

Red just nods. That's not quite an answer.

"Cool." Nine of 'em. Jesus. "Let's see how easily I can find our way back in the middle of the night."

Green starts off and Red follows, silent as ever. The only indication that he's even there is the way he flinches and slinks closer to Green as a group of frat guys stumble down the sidewalk across the street. 

"You good?" Green asks, and Red nods unconvincingly, kinda jitters when he moves, like a doll with stiff joints. It's a subtle gesture but Green immediately recognizes it as tension, nerves, _anxiety_ above all else. "Dude, we're fine. They're not gonna bug us. They look too drunk to get over here anyway."

Red hums, barely even a _mhm,_ just half a breath. 

Red inches the littlest bit nearer to Green, looks up at the library then back to his feet. Green follows the brief gaze and catches the figure of someone in the window, third floor of the building, the same stacks they'd just left.

"Huh. Found the guy who was stomping around, I guess."

"No."

He looks at Red. "What do you mean?"

"No one's up there."

"I just - I just saw someone in the window, though."

"No."

"Oh." 

When Green looks back the windows are empty and the lights are out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ghostscribe,_ you say, _you have too many aus. you must stop this at once!_  
>  to which i say nothing. you are correct but i cannot and will not stop.  
> this series is either gonna be like... maybe 7 chapters long or i'll get carried away and make it like 20, who knows!! i don't!!!!! i am just standing here. writing. drinking my peach tea at 2am  
> their college campus is based on a mix of my own and my sister's college campuses, fun fact. hers literally has a castle on it from the 1800s and it's haunted as shit, mine's a modern campus but we've got some weird shit goin on here too :0 apologies for the eventual attempts i will make at detailing people doing Science Studies because i am an architecture student and i haven't touched any science since high school so bare with me  
> uh. anyway. happy spooky season i cannot stop thinking about this au ouo;;
> 
> also - i apologize for the lack of chapter titles this fic will likely have ;; i'll try to make proper titles maybe but?? i've been writing the au without chapter titles for awhile so unfortunately this might just be how it is gah


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There were five people in the library last night. Only two of them were living._   
>  _That is, of course, if Red presumes himself to be living._

It's already tiring.

He didn't even necessarily want to come to this particular campus, admittedly. It's a stressful energy, but money is tight; that, and his sister wanted to come here, and he was too nervous to go somewhere where he didn't know _anyone._ He doesn't like it, though, it's too noisy. The classes are fine and the degree should be good if he doesn't flunk out, but it's _loud._

Loud students. Loud _energy._ Much too loud from the other side.

It's been this way since he was a child. No one else tends to see it or hear it unless it is dark enough and present enough, but anywhere Red goes he has a tendency to see and to _notice._ He's always observant, always has been, he's the one who sees rabbits hidden under the bushes and bugs disguised as sticks and stones stacked in odd places in odd ways. As easily as he notices them so too does he notice death among life, bones unearthed from unmarked graves, voices written in ancient walls, and with them the visage of the victims who don't dare to admit they are dead.

There were five people in the library last night. Only two of them were living.

That is, of course, if Red presumes himself to be living.

He doesn't always consider himself to be alive; he doesn't _feel_ alive today, certainly. He didn't sleep last night. It was too loud; students were too loud, this time, nothing outside the veil has bothered him in his dorm thus far. Some other freshmen were running up and down the hallways and laughing hysterically to each other. It's even more disruptive than anything on the other side.

That's beside the point, though. College is new; ghosts are not.

He's never been the best at school and so he's made this executive decision; if he fails out of college (and he may, tired as he is already), he at least knows enough about plants and will have gained enough experience to work at a greenhouse or a flower farm or something, or maybe he'll settle for a bouquet service. Having to be awake and alert at eight in the morning is definitely shooting him in the foot already. Being terrible at studying in general shoots him in the other foot. He is set to fail in this mortal realm. Destined for fatigue. 

It might be exactly that fatigue that's urging him to take a bit of a chance, so tired that he doesn't see the potential risk through the gain. At least his exhaustion is good for something this morning.

He enters the lecture hall building through the back each morning, it's quieter through here. He always passes the door to the bathroom; he hasn't been in there yet but he _knows_ it's the bathroom. This place is already thin and he can sense the doors in there; mirrors, three or four of them, probably, lined up above three or four sinks. Mirrors should be outlawed here, he feels. Ground's too charged, electrified. Those mirrors are openings and they make his head spin a bit. He feels a dash of static as he passes and shakes it off so he can at least pretend to focus on his classwork.

He often doesn't, not fully, anyway. Today he'll definitely struggle to focus on the lectures at all. He has another goal in mind.

He doesn't talk often, doesn't like to talk much, can't really talk at _all,_ oftentimes. His mom went to the trouble of getting him a single dorm on campus, since she knew he would either just avoid leaving the room so he'd never have to interact with a roommate, or he would probably just never go into his room to begin with. He doesn't like being social to any capacity. Doesn't like to talk. Feels the need to talk today, though.

But only to someone in particular.

...he wonders if Green knows sign language, but he brushes the thought off; unlikely. Most people don't so he doesn't even bother.

Red finds Green sitting off to the side of the lecture hall and sits two seats down from him.

"Yo." 

Red flinches. As readily as Green screams upon seeing a shadowy figure at the end of a dark hallway, Red is startled whenever he is expected to be extant, present, human. He doesn't like being human all the way. Doesn't like being social. Doesn't like being _known._ That's how he gets harassed. It's easier to blend into the background. Easier to fade. Never quite known and never quite real.

"Doin' alright?" Green asks, and Red manages to nod a little. Can't talk here, of course. He wants to but he can't. Too many people nearby. Energy is off - too many people. Too busy. 

"I take it you didn't get to sleep that easy, eh?" Red shakes his head. Can't do this. Can't - but wants - he _wants_ to talk but he just _can't,_ physically _can't,_ it's always been this way and he hates himself for it. 

"Yeah, I feel that. I should've grabbed some coffee for ya on my way in. Honestly, though, I wasn't sure if I was gonna find you in a class of like, a hundred of us." Another nod. Can't - he can't - 

_He won't want to be your friend if you won't even speak to him._

Just like everyone else.

The lights dim a bit. The projector comes on. It's an excuse for Red to stay quiet. He hopes Green takes no offense. 

He hopes he can do this. No one's ever continued to engage with him when they realize he doesn't answer, unless they're looking for a punching bag.

He doesn't think this will work at 8:05 in the morning. Thinks he'll ruin it. 

Barely fifteen minutes pass, and then the smartboard flickers, and the professor chalks it up to faulty wiring in an old building. She shouldn't be wrong; there's been issues in just about every class he's been in so far. Should be fine. Could be fine. Grandfathered wiring is always dicey, after all.

It's fine. It's not _wires,_ no, it's whatever entered the room that's causing the problem, but it's fine.

He can't make out any defining features, but the energy coming off it is a gentle somberness, not spiteful despite the sense of something unfinished, something agonizing. An untimely death, and the smell of death permeates the area, and he suppresses a cough: there is no real scent, he presumes, but he smells it nonetheless. Scents are stronger when the ones from the other side are inhuman, but sometimes the remnants of a human will have an odor to them. He's visited a graveyard once before and it smelled faintly like a perfume store. His bedroom at home has always smelled like lavender and he could never parse why. 

_Look at me._

He doesn't acknowledge the whisper. He looks ahead at the empty screen, at the professor troubleshooting the thing, down at his paper and half-assed notes.

_Look._

He doesn't. He yawns and sits his head down on the paper. Too tired for this.

It approaches. He sees that motion in his peripheral vision and he does not acknowledge it. It senses he's shutting it out, perhaps, and dashes through the closed door, away from him.

The screen flickers back to life.

It's frustrating. So many seeking help but he's just one boy, always has been. He cannot save everyone, cannot cure them of their woes nor their anguish. He is no hero: he is no protagonist. He can't finish their business every time, every day, and yet they beg for _something_ because he can _see_ them where no one else can, and they _know_ that, and it's so hard for him to explain _I can barely talk to the living, please leave me alone._

Red glances over at Green. Green is staring at the empty space that housed the entity just seconds ago. 

Green blinks. Looks down at his paper. Looks back up, squints, looks back down with a furrowed brow. 

He notices Red looking at him. Red looks away and feels himself blushing and hates that the lights aren't dimmer. Always embarrassing when he's caught staring. It's usually off at something unseen to everyone else, though, not usually at anything, anyone extant. 

...Red isn't fully sure why Green captivates him to begin with. He has a particular energy that Red can't describe but he likes it. Likes Green.

The professor continues talking. Red continues looking away. It's only when Green taps his shoulder does Red dare to look. Green points down at the paper, to the margin, to a messily written message.

_[did you see someone run out that door?]_

Green can see them too.

...wait, can he?

There is a difference between truly being a medium and simply being more perceptive, Red has learned. He doesn't talk much but he listens, he hears the voices of the departed as readily as that of kids in a quiet hallway. Every Halloween in his hometown, he would hear this slew of _I swear that house at the end of the road is haunted, I saw a ghost,_ and _you're being stupid, there was nothing there,_ and when he passes the house in question for himself he knows the truth. There's different levels of perception, that's ultimately his conclusion. Leaf is not so perceptive as he is but she can garner a general idea of when something is amiss.

When they were kids, she was also more likely to try and instigate communication, because _I just wanna know what it's like._

He's bitter about that. If he could give her this "gift," he would in a heartbeat. 

(...not really, though. It takes its toll. He wouldn't do that to anyone.)

It takes a moment for Red to reply to Green's message, but ultimately he does, and ultimately he decides to just be blatantly honest. 

_(yeah)_

Even without the spoken word, Red is quiet, he communicates in fractions of sentences. He's so subtle, sometimes, that he wonders if he becomes as unintelligible as the otherworld, if he is ambiguity itself. 

_[who was it, i couldn't see]_

_(idk)_

_[they like straight-up sprinted outta here]_

_(nyoom)_

Red is looking ahead now, trying to focus on actual note taking, but he can tell when Green gets around to reading his message because he chokes back a laugh. His breathing trembles and though he covers his mouth, the smile is obvious, even in Red's peripheral vision.

_[gotta go fast]_

_(they're looking for chili dogs)_

Again, Green stifles his laughter. The room feels cold again but Red feels warm.

 _Stop making me laugh,_ Green whispers when Red glances at him - no, it's not even a whisper, he just mouths the words out. It feels intimate in a way, words meant only for Red. He sticks his tongue out at Green, immediately chastises himself for being so childish but - but Green reciprocates and - and -

It's warm. The energy in here is cold but Red is warm, freshly brewed tea, the same heat and same shade of amber as Green's eyes.

Infatuation.

There's motion from beside him. Red senses something _watching_ and he feigns focus on his work again. He can barely make out sunken eyes from his periphery on his right, and an expression of discomfort on Green's face to his left. 

_It's fuckin' cold,_ written only on his lips. Red nods and tugs his jacket a bit tighter around him, and Green mimics the gesture.

Half of Red's mind is focused on the ringing in his ears, the faint static electricity to his right, like running his hand over an old CRT television screen. The other half of him has the thought of _I can hold you if you're cold_ and he hates that he would even _think_ something like that so quickly. He barely knows Green and yet… and _yet._ Inconclusive but magnetic all the same.

Perhaps Red is just starved for any kind of affection from anyone who isn't immediately judgemental of him. His primary company is that of the dead, after all. 

Green is alive, though. Green is _lively._

And Green - and this is the most miraculous part of it all, this is the impossible - Green seems to enjoy Red's company. 

_Company,_ huh. It's a funny concept, one Red isn't really familiar with in any earthly way. He considers _company_ to be out of his reach, either that, or he thinks of company as something that is, perhaps, a much looser definition than the average person would have. _Company_ comes in the form of the plants that live on his window sill, the stuffed animals tucked under the blankets on his bed, the souls of the departed that watch and whisper and remind Red that, for better or for worse, he is never truly alone. _Company_ does not mean _friends,_ no. It never has.

Admittedly, Red isn't even sure if Green considers him a friend, despite the ease with which they banter with each other on paper. It isn't until Green writes his second to last message that Red realizes this is - this is happening, somehow, somehow he's - they're - 

_[yknow i didn't expect to meet a friend in the library at 1am but i'm not complaining]_

Friends. _Friends._

Red didn't think this would work at 8:05 in the morning. Two hours of class have passed and surprisingly it _has._ His notebook is more scribbled quips and questions to one another than it is biology notes at this point, and Red doesn't regret that for a second.

It's only when Red walks out of class and off on his own quiet path to his dorm that he finally smiles and hops and flails his hands, only once he's as alone as he can be, when even the whispers have fallen silent. He wants to read through his notebook when he gets back to his room, not for the sake of studying but for the sake of the chatter in the margins, the scribbled classroom conversation between himself and Green, this sunflower of a boy, bright-eyed and aiming for the sun but never quite melting, no, he has no wax wings; he is rooted and he is sky bound, earth and sun alike. Alive.

And he is Red's _friend._

( _Just_ a friend, despite the desperate cries from somewhere within Red's heart.)

Still, Red sighs, shivers, _smiles._ He's falling way too hard and way too fast. Leaf is gonna tease him about this for weeks when she finds out. 

(And she _will_ find out. Red never texts anyone but Green wrote his number down in charmingly slanted penmanship, a kind of analog italic font, next to a little doodle of a sunflower.)

(Sunflower, sunbeam, the sun itself. He is bright when all of Red's world is steeped in shadows.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent too much time trying to proofread this one but somehow it is not clicking so uhhhh minimal proofreading we die like men  
> this is also known as Red Is Tired And Gay but honestly, that's most of my fics in his pov, so this isn't exactly new is it  
> the pacing on this fic is getting to be uh. slower than i expected? so bare with me - i mean ig that's how slice of life goes, right? hgjkfgd idk my head is empty today


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Swear to god," he mutters to himself, "if they get us all possessed with a board game, I'm gonna kill 'em."_   
>  _"You'll get killed first."_

"Have you ever used a Ouija board?"

"No, and within good reason."

"Reason being?"

"I don't wanna die like I'm a horror movie protagonist."

Ethan laughs. Green feels more than a little dumb to have said that now.

Green hasn't mentioned it to anyone here, but he's pretty sure he's heard of a Oujia board having worked and then saw the kids involved skip a few days of class due to  _ emergency health concerns. _ They'd been talking about their "ritual night" for two weeks before the fact, and the day after the supposed "ritual" was set to take place, the four of them missed the rest of the school week. They still seemed dazed when they came back and it made people wonder and murmur and theorize about what could've possibly happened. Demons? Possession? Middle school kids acting up to get out of school for a few days? 

Green didn't make any theories himself. He didn't want to know, he just played the skeptic about the whole thing. That skepticism has been challenged the longer he's been on campus, though. 

"We're gonna be fine, dude, relax!" Ethan grins, elbowing Green in the side in the way that he always does, almost as if they've known each other for years already instead of just a bit over a month. Ethan's a bit of a people magnet and it shows; he's quick to attract new friends and even quicker to stick to them like glue. "It's just a party game. Ouija boards were invented by some kind of toy company, weren't they?"

"They proved it worked to get the patent for it, you know."

Green jolts at the newcomer's voice. "Jesus fuckin' - you gotta stop sneaking up on people like that, Lyra."

"Maybe  _ you _ need to stop being so jumpy," she snidely remarks. In the two interactions Green has had with Lyra to date, she's been something of an agent of chaos. If she'd like to involve herself in these goings-on, Green has a feeling this little party trick is going to be more than they bargained for.

"I'm allowed to be jumpy," Green counters, "I'm runnin' on coffee and academic anxiety."

"Aw, Green…" Ethan pats his shoulder. "You're doing great, man. You were your high school's valedictorian, right? You've totally got this!"

That's the problem, actually. Green has become so accustomed to being this perfect visage of a boy that he's not sure what he'll do when his grades inevitably start sinking. He doesn't _want_ to slip, no, but he knows it happens. Daisy warned him about that when he started looking into colleges to enroll in, because she knows he's a perfectionist and she knows he's going to lose it if he isn't absolutely _perfect_ in everything he does. _College is a big change,_ _don't be afraid to make mistakes. It's going to be harder than high school but it'll be worth it, I promise._

Easy for her to say. She went to school for cosmetology and works as a hairdresser now. That's got its own difficulties but they're not comparable to zoology. 

"It can be kinda hard to focus when the library is as - " and he hesitates a bit, but he's already started his thought, " - as weird as it is. Place just feels creepy, it's old and it smells funky, y'know."

"Maybe it'd feel less weird if you weren't there all alone at night," Ethan offers.

"Oh, he's not alone up there." Thanks, Lyra. "The library's  _ super _ haunted, trust me. They say a kid got murdered up there twenty years ago during fall break and no one found her until after they got back, so her body was just there for three whole days decomposing and - "

"Lyra, look, you're doing great, but I don't wanna hear about decomposition on our way to grab dinner, thanks." Green already feels nauseous, possibly from too much caffeine, possibly anxiety. He does not need to hear about murders and he does  _ not _ need to hear about decomposition. 

"I'm just saying, Green! You might not actually be alone up there!"

Green just rolls his eyes at her. "I bet you're the one who told Ethan you wanna do a seance, huh?"

"Oh, absolutely!"

"Even though you believe this place is haunted?"

"Yep! Nothing brings me genuine excitement anymore and I just want to feel alive again! A possession oughta get my blood pumping, don't you think?"

Um. Green looks at Ethan, Lyra's designated childhood friend, but Ethan looks back at Green with just a shrug that says  _ yeah, that's Lyra for you. _

"...you okay, Lyra?"

"Oh, you know." She winks. He'll… he'll take that as a solid  _ no.  _ Green's starting to feel more and more like all the friends he makes are just bound to be weirdos in some way. He's got his dyslexic people magnet roommate who's here on a gymnastics scholarship, his roommate's childhood friend who may or may not have committed actual tax fraud, a few of their mutual friends, and… and Red.

It's honestly hard to describe Red in such short prose, Green has to admit.  _ Quiet _ is probably the easiest he could describe him, but even that doesn't feel quite  _ right _ enough, doesn't feel exactly like  _ Red _ because there's more to him than that. He's surprisingly chatty over text, for one thing, so  _ quiet  _ isn't quite Red.  _ Perceptive, _ yes, that's Red too. He's aware of both subtle changes in the environment and changes in the atmosphere, he's the one who catches when the wind shifts or when someone has entered a room. 

Someone, or rather, when  _ something _ has entered a room.

It feels eerie, the way Red just  _ notices, _ especially after their meeting in the library. The way Green had insisted on normal explanations for normal experiences, and the way Red had just said  _ no _ each time, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, it still makes him shiver a little when he thinks about it. That's how their odd experiences have been handled over the month that they've known each other, admittedly. Green tries to explain it away and Red offers doubt and the conversations end there. Red has been constantly  _ aware _ and Green has been left wondering what Red sees that he can't. 

He's not sure if he wants to know.

"Real talk, boys," Lyra's voice snaps Green out of his daze, "do you think this place is haunted? Silver said maybe, I'm saying yes."

"I dunno," Ethan shrugs. "I'll believe it when I see it, I guess?"

"Man, you sound like Kris. Green? What do you think?"

It's a losing game either way, either Lyra will chastise him for being a nonbeliever or Ethan will do the same if he  _ does _ believe.  "Haunted or not, I don't want you two doing a seance in my dorm room."

"Where else will we do it?" Ethan huffs. 

"I - fuckin' -  _ anywhere _ else, man! If Lyra's over here fully intent on summoning a demon or whatever - "

"I just wanted a ghost, but I'd take a demon too, I guess." 

" - then I don't wanna sleep in the same dorm as it, y'feel me?"

"Yeah, yeah," Ethan sighs. "Fine. Can we - oh! Maybe we can do it in the common room in the basement!"

"Yeah, yeah! We'll rent a Wii and play some Mario Kart while we're at it!"

"Yeah, video games and ghosts, sounds like an ordinary Friday night…" 

"We gotta do it before Halloween, though," Lyra continues as if Green had said that line approvingly. "I wanna summon the cool ghosts before everyone else has their own seances."

Green snorts. This feels like a bad idea but he's amused enough at her logic.

"We should get Silver and Leaf to join in," Ethan adds. 

"Who's Leaf again?" Green asks.

"Leaf's the girl from my trig class," Lyra adds. "You don't know her, I don't think. She's the one who got me into all the hauntings on campus. She knows like, literally  _ all _ the hotspots." Pause. "She  _ did _ warn me Ouija boards are a handful to work with, but that's why I wanna invite her along! She'll be a huge help." 

"If that floats your boat, I guess." God, Green is getting tired of this. He can barley go more than two days without  _ something _ weird happening. He doesn't really need to let anything into his life intentionally. The dorms are the only buildings that have been consistently un-haunted. "Listen, I'm gonna bounce."

Ethan frowns. "Aw, you don't wanna have dinner with your two favorite idiots?"

Green snickers. "Raincheck, Ethan, I had a late lunch anyway." That's kinda a lie. He's just… burnt out. Long week, all this aside. "I'll be around."

He goes his own way at that, holding his breath, only letting out a sigh of fatigue when he's fairly sure they won't hear him. 

The quiet back sidewalks offer him a small consolation. It's beautiful when he travels off the beaten path around campus, less of the cobblestone roads mixed with concrete and perfectly planted trees, more of what feels like an English garden, plants just growing where they do, brick paths wandering as is their want. It's serene enough and distant enough from the rest of the buildings around that, for a moment, he can forget that this place is… off.

"Swear to god," he mutters to himself, "if they get us all possessed with a board game, I'm gonna kill 'em."

"You'll get killed first."

He doesn't jump this time, but  _ god _ that nearly scared the life outta him. He turns to see who's following him, and he's never been more relieved to see a physical human (except for when he met Red, admittedly). He thought he was losing it. All this ghost shit is getting to his head.

"Pardon?"

"You heard me." The girl smiles at him, peering at him from under the brim of a white sunhat. "It's October. I know how many of you are planning on opening portals to hell." 

Ah. Well, she sure isn't shy about sounding crazy, is she? "What, are you keeping a running tally?"

"How could I not? It'd be pretty irresponsible of me to ignore these things as a paranormal investigator."

... _ definitely _ doesn't care if people think she's crazy. Green's starting to think he's just a magnet for weirdos and he's not sure how to feel about that. At least they're mostly nice weirdos.  _ Wait but what if  _ I'm  _ a weirdo too - _

"If you'd like to do me a favor," she hums, takes a step toward him, "I'd like you to let me know if you  _ do _ successfully cause any long-term paranormal disturbances with your pals back there, okay?"

He didn't exactly agree, but he feels like he isn't being given a choice. "Y-Yeah, yeah. I don't actually know how I'll do that if you don't tell me who you are, though."

"Fair enough." What's that supposed to mean? "My name is Leaf." Ah. So  _ this _ is Lyra's friend. Not surprising. "I'm a paranormal investigator wunderkind and - and Red's older sister, but uh, I guess you won't know what that means. You probably don't know him."

Red  _ did _ mention having a sister a while back and in hindsight, Green shouldn't be shocked that she's also a bit odd. "Nah, I know him. Botany major, right? We're study partners in our bio class."

"Oh?" She grins and there's a twinkle in her eye. "So you must be the boy he's been so infatuated with lately." 

Is he blushing? He'd better not be. Why did she have to say it like that? "I - I don't - that's a weird way to say - uh - "

"Listen to me - Green Oak, yes?"  _ Fuck _ he's sure Red just told her his name already but it's a bit terrifying that she already knows it. "If you break his heart, your skin is mine."

"Hey, thanks! I  _ hate _ that!" He - he'd like to keep his skin.

"I mean it, Oak," and Green winces when she says his name like that, he hates being addressed the same way as gramps. "You hurt him, you're done for. You're his best friend and I am  _ not _ about to let you break his heart."

"Don't - s-stop saying it like that, you make it sound like we're dating or something."

Leaf doesn't answer. She just grins and Green melts in the skin that is still his for now. He does  _ not _ need another crisis on top of the ghost crisis he's having right now. 

"...so, uh," he just - he's desperate to shift gears, "when you say you're a  _ paranormal investigator - " _

"Right!" She claps her hands, a sudden pep in her voice. "We basically - Red and I, I mean - we go around trying to either find evidence of hauntings or purify areas we know to be haunted. We moved around a lot as kids, so it was kinda the only thing we could consistently do that kept us on our toes, you know? Every town's got its skeletons in the closet."

"Ah." Kinda weird, but he's heard weirder.

"Even this town," she adds, smiling, looking up into the window of the nearest building to them. Green follows her gaze. He's not sure if the window is that dark from the trees shading it from the sun, or if something is actually wrong. He's not sure if he even  _ wants _ to know.

"We can't purify this whole campus, though, just so you know. Keep that in mind if you  _ do  _ play your little seance game with those pals of yours."

Wait.  _ Wait. _ "Don't talk about them like you don't know them. You're in Lyra's trigonometry class, aren't you?"

Leaf pouts. "Damnit, don't ruin my illusion of mystery and suspense."

Green just laughs. Leaf is not happy about that but that's just gonna have to be that.

"Look, Leaf, lemme make you a deal," Green starts, now that he's got a bit of an advantage. "Lyra said she wanted to invite you to her Ouija board nonsense. Don't you think it'd be easier to be there to supervise instead of asking me to keep you posted?"

"Oh, I'll be there. I'm just asking you to report back if the activity continues  _ after _ the fact."

"Alright, deal." 

_ "But, _ if something possesses any of you, that's not my department."

It could be Red's department, Green thinks. 

"Fair enough," Green shrugs. "I guess I'll hear from you soon?"

"You will. And I'll hear  _ about _ you as soon as I see Red again."

"W-What?"

Leaf waves and walks off without explaining herself. Even in the autumn air, Green feels hot.

Green looks at his phone, debating if he should ask Red about all this, or… or what. Leaf's influence would explain why Red seems perceptive to some of the weird things that have been happening around here. If Red is a paranormal investigator (and that sounds like too formal of a word for  _ ghost hunter, _ Green thinks), that would make Red's perception to it all a little less uncanny. He just knows what to look for, if that's the case.

This place is getting more unsettling with each passing day. He doubts asking Red about this would ease his nerves - hell, it might make matters worse.

Green opts to text Red to ask if he'd like to get dinner with him instead.

Red's response is a chipper  _ ofc! _ and an emoji of a sun and a flower and a little heart. 

Green hates the fact that his heart skips a beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing slice of life feels weirdly. slow to me :? the last time i did slow chapters like this was in ReuNite, so forgive me if i'm a lil rusty on this front  
> they're just! a bunch of fools!! i don't think i write it much/well but the found family trope is rly soft n nice and that can and will work its way into this fic ~~also with a side of huntershipping perhaps?~~  
>  once again proofreading is for nerds and i'm a cool guy with a smooth brain ok


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Weird kids. Weird hobbies. Weird little lives they lead._

"Spirit box; check. EMF meter; check. Thermal camera; check. Audio recorder, flashlights, psychic brother; check, check,  _ definitely _ check."

"Thanks for lumping me in with the inanimate objects." 

"You're welcome! I'm nothing if not an annoying older sister!"

As annoying as she can be, he still finds himself grinning at her teasing.

They've been at this since they were kids, ever since Red told her that he saw a ghost and Leaf believed him. He mustered the courage to point at the window of the abandoned house at the head of the street one day, the house they'd pass almost daily coming home from school. The silhouette in the window was less a shadow and more a full apparition to Red, but Leaf had only needed to see the vague outline of a figure to say  _ oh my god you can see ghosts, that's a ghost, I wanna see it up close, let's go let's go let's go,  _ and in that moment their fate was sealed. It's not the most ordinary hobby but they've never been the most ordinary kids, so perhaps it suits them.

"Alright, case brief: the old theater is supposedly haunted by the first theater professor who ever taught there, and an actress who died in a fire that destroyed a lot of the original infrastructure. Kinda run-of-the-mill as far as theater investigations go, but we're mostly looking for proof at this point," Leaf explains. "I dunno if you wanna try and get either of them to pass on, but from what I've heard, the professor probably wants to just hang around. He's not involuntarily stuck, I bet, just clingy. The lady's the one I'm more torn on. There's also some assorted activity that may be from just outta nowhere, keep in mind."

"Mm." Red nods. He takes his few quiet moments to process the stories. It truly isn't anything new; if anything, this might be one of the most routine investigations they'll ever do. Sometimes they wander into abandoned structures or buildings that have a sudden influx of activity out of nowhere, and those are always harder than hunting in established haunting grounds. It brings a level of confusion when they don't know what's in a space, if they don't even know if something is in there at all. If they know what to look for, though, it's almost painfully easy. The hardest part is making sure Leaf's equipment isn't picking up on anything extraneous clinging to Red. Ghosts are sticky like that.

"So? What do you think?"

"Typical."

"That's what I figured too," Leaf nods. "It's just the confirmation we're after."

"Mm." Pause. "That's important to you."

"Of course it is," and she says that as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "The more proof we have of the paranormal world, the more validity we have as a community. There  _ is _ kinda a science to this stuff, you know. I wanna prove it."

"Mhm."

She won't admit it, but the other part of why it's important for her to prove ghosts are real is so she can say  _ see, my brother isn't crazy, you all spent years bullying him for nothing, I hope you all feel stupid now. _ Red isn't really one for revenge, though. 

At least this is a healthier way of seeking revenge than  _ some _ of Leaf's past antics. She's been banned from two restaurants back home.

"So, we're gonna have to sneak in through the back,"  _ wait what, _ "'cause I don't think we're technically supposed to be in here if we're not theater kids."

"...we're breaking in?"

"Don't sound so scared, it's fine!"

"I don't wanna get kicked off campus, Leaf."

"We won't get kicked out if we don't get caught."

"That's scarier than any ghost." Because he'll have to answer to some kind of authority if they get caught. He hates that. Hates confronting any sort of conflict, really. Doesn't wanna rock the boat or anything. Sometimes he wonders how Leaf is his sibling when she's all about causing problems on purpose. 

" _ Relax, _ bro, we'll be fine. Just c'mon, we've got work to do."

Red whines but he can't really protest. He takes a shuddering breath and resigns himself to this fate.

"Stay kinda low. There's no surveillance cameras around here but there are security guards sometimes."

"How do you know that?"

Leaf smiles. That's enough of an answer.

Of course she would know this place inside-out. Red is observant in quiet and natural ways but Leaf is  _ vigilant, _ she's a notetaker by heart and perhaps a bit too nosy for her own good. It works out in the end sometimes, though. Certainly makes finding the sneakiest point of entry much easier. Red wonders how long she's been staking this place out and elects to not ask because any amount of time is too much time.

Weird kids. Weird hobbies. Weird little lives they lead.

"As you can see," and there's a bit of theatrics to her voice once they make it inside some musty back door, "we are in a supply closet. This is our checkpoint to freedom, so don't forget where it is. The main entrance does have security cameras, so we can't break back  _ out _ through there without getting in trouble."

The prospect of  _ trouble _ makes him nervous but the heavy air weighs a bit more on his chest than the anxiety. "Right."

"We've got the main stage to primarily investigate, is my best bet. I'll set up shop there, but if you see anything else, I'll follow."

"Mm."

"...you good?"

"Mhm."

Loud.

He hears it in the distance, dull and ambiguous music, and a single woman's voice singing over the vague orchestra. Phantom songs don't really mean anything to him at this glance, though, no, it could be residual and that's not so notable. He can see the way history imprints itself in hallways and rafters, how it stains the veil, but it cannot answer if it's just a record on repeat. That's not what they're after.

Not what  _ she's _ after. Red is really just around because he has nothing better to do with himself - that, and Leaf would get herself possessed or arrested if he wasn't with her, he fears. 

The main theater feels too big around him, devoid of people, yes, but the imprint of a crowd still echoes somehow. It's not an audience of ghosts but perhaps the residual energy, perhaps just some overactive anxiety, it's hard for Red to tell when he's still hearing music cutting in and out. Leaf blazes ahead and he follows. Two sets of footsteps.

He stops. One set of footsteps. Starts, two, stops, one, starts again. Fine. Sometimes things follow right away and sometimes they don't. 

She's setting up the camera in front of the stage, humming to herself; even that quiet noise fills the room. The noise echoes in here and Red can't say he's really a fan. He kicks his foot against the cold floor and the  _ clack _ bounces and bounces and slowly decays. 

He walks, one set of footsteps. Stops.

Footsteps, echoing. The delay doesn't sound like it's because of the acoustics. That's the easiest explanation and he can imagine Green saying  _ echoes like a cave in here, heh, _ a nervous little laugh, and Red would say  _ no _ and Green would understand but he wouldn't say anything. Seems like that's how it goes with them. 

"Getting anything?" Leaf asks. Echoes.

"Nothing conclusive." 

"Mm. Let's wander a bit. Cam'll go off if it catches any motion. I'm gonna run the audio and start asking questions. You take the EMF meter. We'll forego the thermal cam for now 'cause it's already cold in here."

Red nods, takes the device in his hand, hopes he won't manage to break it somehow. He's done this a few times before but he still worries. Worries about everything. 

"Do people still use this place?"

"Mhm." Leaf nods. "Not as often, though, from what I can gather. A couple of theatre kids in my debate class said they do practice in here sometimes but the actual show rehearsals and recitals are in the new theatre hall downtown. Guess this place is too outdated."

A single light blips on the EMF. She looks at it but says nothing, and neither does he. A flicker like that isn't worth calling out after all these years.

"Is there anyone in here with us?" Silence. Two sets of slow footsteps, Red following Leaf, psychic and investigator. "Can you give us a sign?" 

For a moment, there is no sign, nothing  _ tangible, _ but the air shifts, presses against Red in a weird way then just… flows off and away. Something is  _ trying. _

"Can you make a noise?" Leaf sounds weird when she investigates. Her voice is almost monotone. She's usually so lively.

Actress.

He hears her before he sees her, and he makes no indication to Leaf at first, waits to see if the actress will reach out to his sister on her own. He hears her song stop and he sees her on the stage and then he hears, clearly, a word from beyond the veil.

**What?**

She's not used to company. Spirits often accept their lonesome until someone shatters their reality and suddenly they are  _ known _ and Red can imagine it to be quite jarring.

"Can you knock on that stage for us, if you're here?" 

He's invisible in the darkness, but he double-takes between Leaf and the departed. She, woman who barely clings to this earth, she stamps her foot on the ground. 

Red hears it. Judging by Leaf's quiet gasp, so does she. 

"The stage?" she asks, and Red nods. 

**An audience?**

And Red shakes his head. No. No, not quite.

Leaf is quick to approach and Red is not, sluggish as he is under the weight of the other world. Something feels oppressive from behind but when he turns to face it he sees nothing. Only earthly footfalls echo, only the clicking of the meter, only darkness.  Nothing else to see nor hear. Just a feeling. 

That's why people never believe him. Just a feeling.

"I'm going to turn this device on, now," Leaf starts, calm as ever, "When I ask you questions, I'd like you to answer into this device. Can you do that for me?"

She is closer, and now she is clearer. Half her face is burnt off. Half her body is  _ scorched. _ The other half is immaculate. It's a war between what she once was and what she had been in her final moments.

Not unusual. Leaf starts recording now.

"Can you tell me your name?" 

Leaf can't see her; she only sees the flickering of the meter. She looks to Red but he looks away, at the actress, and he tries and fails to hear if she answers. 

"How did you die?"

**Die?**

Sometimes they don't know. 

Red feels a slurry of mixed emotions when they don't know that they're dead. A part of him wishes he could explain it all gently and briefly and they would say  _ yes, I understand, this is okay, _ and another part of him wants to just… not. Just stay quiet. He never knows how to explain it to them. He's not even sure, if he were to die, and haunt, and be found, what he would do if he were told he had died.

"Were you an actress who used to perform in this theatre?"

**I am a star.**

Loud. He thinks the recording might've caught that one. Leaf shows no response, though.

**Where is the audience?**

Now, Leaf turns to Red.  _ Did you hear that?, _ just mouthed out, not spoken. Red nods. He - 

**Where is everyone? Hello? Hello?!**

She looks directly at him, spirit's eyes gazing into the portal of a boy. Red looks away and says nothing because he doesn't know what he  _ can _ say. That, and eye contact makes him a little nervous.

"Did you like it here?"

**I like it here. I am here.**

"Give us a sign."

**I am here!**

The EMF meter spikes to the top, and Leaf lets out a little  _ aha  _ of success. The camera she set up clicks, having captured motion, and it's now that Red realizes she stood it to face not the stage but the catwalk above the seats.

**You.**

Red winces. Always does, always hates being called on, hates when teachers do it and hates when ghosts do the same. He wills himself to look at her nonetheless. 

**Do you see me?**

He nods.

**Where is everyone?**

"They left." 

It's the simplest, gentlest truth he can offer. He hears emptiness and he senses  _ mourning. _

"What'd she ask?" Leaf asks. Her voice sounds distant. Doesn't echo. "Red?"

The outside world is gone.

The stage is coated in soot. Smells like smoke. The ashes merely dance cooly in the air, a curtain call to the flames. He hears frantic shouting outside, panicked screams and men calling for more water, but the fire's out. 

**You - what is this costume?** She kneels at his side, waves her hands to gesture to his hat, a foreign style some centuries back.  **You are no actor I've known. Are you here for the show?**

"Show's over."

She blinks one eye at him. The other is blistered and will not move.  **The show has two acts left.**

"No."  _ No. _ He says it that way to Green, too. 

(Funny how that guy can worm his way into Red's thoughts even in the astral plane.)

(Astral plane. Funny how his last name is Aster.)

**Yes.**

"Show's over. Do you smell it?"

She looks around. She seems to understand there is ash but looks confused nonetheless.  **Why?**

"I don't know."

**Where are you from, dear?**

"Not here."

**Where?**

"Far."

Pause. She takes another slow glance at the room. She is an actress. Even the charred flesh looks delicate when she moves so gracefully, careful wave of each hand, each turn, each sigh.

**Like snow.**

"It's ash."

**Ashes.**

(He doesn't know Leaf has turned on the spirit box, and he doesn't know  _ ashes _ is the first word she's caught. Doesn't know how much she worries when he shuts his eyes and enters this near comatose state for a few long minutes.)

**Why? Why ashes?**

"Do you smell it?"

**Smell what? Who are you?**

"The fire."

It feels hot, unbearably so. Red feels like he's burning but it doesn't scare him. He won't burn. Mere spirits don't harm humans in any significant way, no. 

**What fire? There is no fire.**

"There was a fire."

( _ Fire, _ on the spirit box outside. Leaf takes note of it and debates if she should shake her brother back to the earthly realm. She always wonders if she should.)

**There was… no…**

She trails off but Red understands there's a sudden sense of  _ oh god, dear god,  _ sudden awareness. The air gets thick again and he feels like he may drown in it. He hears footsteps on the catwalk but can't bring himself to acknowledge them. Dazed in this place, this state.

**There was a fire?**

"Yes."

**Did I die?**

He doesn't reply, just… he just looks at her and feels  _ I'm sorry _ buried deep in his heart and she seems to hear that answer.

**How?**

"The fire."

**But** **_how?_ **

"I don't know."

**Was it smoke?** She raises a leathery hand to her cheek, runs her fingers over her skin.  **Did I burn?**

( _ I burn. _ words from the spirit box. A few more camera clicks. Red, motionless, and Leaf, breath caught in her chest.)

"Maybe."

**Am I burnt?**

"...yes." Because it's hard to lie about that, of all things.

**Am I hideous?**

"Not at all." Hard to lie about that. Beautiful even in death.

**I was singing,** and he knows, he knows she was singing.  **I was singing, and the crescendo, and then…**

Silence. It's overwhelmingly cold. Something slams somewhere outside, Red barely hears it. Feels himself slipping a little.

"Do you understand?"

**Am I dead?**

(The full question enters the physical realm through the spirit box. Leaf doesn't know how to answer either.)

He feels sick. He nods. When she weeps it looks to be the performative, beautiful weeping of an actress. Voice betrays her. She wails and it hurts his ears. Feels dizzy.

**What am I to do?**

"What do you want to do?"

**I want to sing. I want to perform.**

Some other thud, somewhere. Everything looks blurry.

**I want to** **_sing!_ **

"Sing, then," he answers, barely hears his voice as he does, "if it would make you happy."

**I want to - I must - I will -**

_ SING. _

Red opens his eyes and he is right where he started. The spirit box is blaring static.  _ Sing, _ the final word traveling from that plane to this, before Leaf turns the device off.

"Red? Are you okay?" 

His head is killing him. "Mhm."

"What happened?" Leaf asks with a concern that's out of place for the investigator, right at home for the sister. "You feel okay? Head hurt? What did she say? Do we need to help her move on? Is  _ she _ hurt? Is - "

"She wants to sing."

Leaf lets her words falter. She seems to wait for Red to say anything else but no other words come to mind. Head hurts. He takes a deep breath, reminds himself to have a sip of water when he can,  _ dehydration usually makes the migraines worse, whenever I've got em, y'know. _

Green had told him that and given him a sip of his water, and Red had found a strange intimacy in the moment. Seemed to be a deeper vulnerability in one sip than when he crosses the threshold to talk to the departed. 

"Red."

"'m here," though his words are slurred. "Sorry. Head."

"Yeah, thought so," Leaf sighs. "You always get queasy after you go into trances like that. Don't do that so much anymore, you're gonna get stuck over there one day."

Red rolls his eyes - hurts, ow, he doesn't know how that hurt his head but it did. "Can't happen. I'll stay there when I'm dead."

"Hey," and Red's eyes are adjusted enough to the dark that he can see Leaf grinning, "if you die before me, you'd better come back and gimme one more sign before I meet you and dad over there."

And he's always wondered if dad is more important to her than simply proving that ghosts are real. 

(It is. She'll never admit it.)

"I will."

"Good. Now, let's - "

Footsteps. Very  _ human _ footsteps, distant but nearing the theater. They don't really know how to explain the difference between human and haunting but they know it by heart. 

_ Fuck fuck fuck, _ mouthed out on Leaf's lips again, but there's still a grin, still exhilaration in the thought of a more  _ real _ threat. Red's heart pounds and everything is a blur as they pack up and make as quiet an escape as they can in under thirty seconds. 

"Is someone over there? You can't be in here after hours!"

The way the ground slams against Red's feet feels nice, feels solid, feels  _ real _ after his visit to the other side. It's that pressure, Leaf's stifled giggling, the glow of emergency exit signs, the smell of musty cardboard in the storage room, the way the cool air hits his face when they burst out the door - it's real and it tells Red that  _ he _ is real. It's grounding. Comforting. 

"Go, go, come on, let's get outta here!" It's a hushed yell from Leaf. Kinda reminds Red of Green's hushed yell when they walked back to their dorms the other night and someone had taped a full-body print-out of a clown to their door and Green had frantically whisper-shouted  _ fuck that, that's not okay, that can't be  _ legal, _ that is an affront to nature, _ and Red had almost choked on laughter because Green is cute when he gets all riled up -

Ah. He's too smitten.

"Remind me to show you the audio from the spirit box tomorrow." Leaf speaks at a normal volume only when they're only a block away from their dorms. "I think I caught some of your conversation."

"I thought it didn't hear me."

"No,  _ you _ were mumbling. The spirit box was  _ answering _ you." 

"Mm. We'll see tomorrow."

"After dinner?"

"Lunch."

"Oh?" And then she gets this devilish grin that makes Red wonder how she's not a demon. "You've got a dinner date with Green again, don't you?"

He feels hotter than the spectral fire. "It's not a date."

"Not  _ yet, _ anyway."

Red sighs and rolls his eyes, but good god he wishes it  _ was _ a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spooky hours babey!! at long last my years of watching assorted ghost hunting shows of varying degrees of quality has paid off and i can use this knowledge for the purpose of slowburn fanfiction :D  
> i have no more words also sorry this went up later than i meant it to, had a depression episode but what else is new ouo;;  
> also! happy reguri anniversary day! i wish i could write something soft for it but i am still in the depression episode ;u;


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Do you think this place is haunted, Red?_   
>  _Do you?_

_ Just drop it off at the art studio for me, please? I promised I'd bring him some dinner myself, but I lost track of time, and…  _

Green sighs. Just like Ethan to be behind schedule, huh?

Of all things, Ethan is asking Green to deliver a tray of sushi over to one of his friends - Silver, he thinks, if he's remembering the name right. Green has yet to meet him, which on one hand, that's a little odd for a friend of Ethan's. He drags everyone over to his dorm  _ eventually, _ but Silver's been a bit of an enigma as far as Green is concerned. A part of him wonders  _ what if Ethan literally just befriended a ghost _ but that kind of thing is a little  _ too _ absurd. 

He  _ hopes _ it's too absurd, anyway. Things have been getting weirder around here.

Green left the library about an hour ago, having just finished up a study session with Red that turned more into them sharing weird niche facts about assorted interests, with Green rambling about local species of bird and Red explaining succulent propagation in almost excruciating detail. It's funny, Green thinks, that it's just… so easy to talk to him. He's so quiet and yet Green feels like he has the longest conversations with Red. 

The weird part was when they'd left their study table for a moment. They went to pick out a reference book together (not… not that they needed to do that together, Green realizes, Red got up and Green had just followed instinctively), and when they came back, all the materials that were scattered about were neatly stacked in the center of the table. Bit of a far cry from footsteps and shadows and all.

_ Someone's fuckin' with us, eh? _

_ No. _

It's a bit odd every time, Green feels, the way Red says  _ no _ with such certainty; it's so striking every time he says it. It's a quiet, almost mundane matter-of-fact, as if Green suggested it might rain when the weather says otherwise. 

Green doesn't normally confront Red when he denies his explanations, but today he did, just to see what would happen.

_ Why's our stuff like that, then? _

Red just shrugged.  _ It's fine.  _

Green wasn't sure how to respond, so he let the conversation die there. He's positive Lyra would've said  _ ghosts, _ hell maybe Leaf would've broken out her ghost hunting equipment or whatever, but Red simply gave this weird world a sideways glance and a knowing nod and that was the end of that.

It's nice, actually, how calm Red always is. Green's felt his heart race before when he'd swear he heard something one aisle down, and Red would just shrug,  _ I heard it too, _ but he's unfazed, and sometimes that ease seeps into Green's chest, too. 

_ Do you think this place is haunted, Red? _

_ Do you? _

The conversations end so soon, though, as if Red's tranquility is neither bravery nor curiosity but merely some kind of boredom, fatigue with this paranormal activity. It's odd, he has to admit.

He sighs again. No time to worry about that now. He's gotta find this Silver guy and give him some sushi and then he'll call it a night. He's been up since five in the morning. Ethan chastised him for getting up that early to do some last minute studying for an exam, but Green is nothing if not an overachiever. 

[Green: {An image! It's a picture of the building Green is walking toward. It's a short, brick thing, weathered with age, but it still looks cozy and quaint.}] 

[Green: yo is this the right building or what] 

[Ethan: yep! thanks for helping btw, sometimes Sil doesn't eat and Lyra n i are trying to change that] 

[Green: aight sushi incoming] 

[Green: maybe next time make it so annoying to _ not _ eat that he comes and gets dinner with yall]

[Ethan: :0 that could work ahaha] 

[Ethan: the photography studio's on the basement floor, you can't miss it. if he's in the dark room just wait for him to come out or he'll get mad at you for ruining the film] 

[Green: fair fair. get to practice dude yr already late arent ya] 

[Ethan: i can walk and text at the same time!] 

"Sure you can, buddy." He can't. Ethan has walked into three road signs this semester already.

It's not even sundown - well, almost sundown - but it's early enough in the day that Green can just walk right into the building. He's met with stairs immediately to his right, so he heads down, keeping his hand on the rail; some of these older buildings have these uncomfortably steep stairways and it makes his head spin a little, he's gotta admit. 

[Ethan: i fUCKIGN GWALKED INTO A POLE D:] 

[Green: STOP TEXTING WHILE YR WALKING THEN IDIOT, ARE YOU GOOD OR WHAT] 

[Ethan: XD i'm fine i'm fine, thank you~] 

"What am I gonna do with you, huh?" 

...it feels weird down here. 

Green  _ hates _ that it feels so weird. He knows how these things go by this point; something feels wrong, Green presses on as if nothing is amiss, and then something spooky ends up happening one way or another. He watched a handprint materialize on the door's window in his lecture hall the other day and looked to Red for confirmation and Red had nodded and shrugged and that was that. Just press on.

It feels a little worse when he doesn't have Red to confirm that something is off, though. It just… kinda makes him feel crazy. He's the kind of guy who comes away from a family of scientists but also from a grandmother who told him too many ghost stories as a kid to keep him in line, and maybe that's why his skepticism is constantly fighting for its life out here, maybe he remembers something he thought he'd stopped being afraid of once he hit age ten and he's… ugh. Too much thinking. He's lost his train of thought.

He hears footsteps from a room down the hall, past rows upon rows of photographs pinned up behind a sheet of glass. That's gotta be the room, right? He heads up the hallway and sees the door is marked with a professor's name and  _ Photography 132 _ and he figures yeah, this is probably where Silver is at.

He knocks. Maybe it's unnecessary, but he knocks anyway.

"Door's open." Green jolts but it's fine. That's just a human voice. A  _ real _ human voice. Not a disembodied one. Nice. God he's too jumpy today. 

"Hey, uh, Silver?" It feels a little weird calling out to a guy he's never met. "I'm Ethan's roommate, he asked me to drop off some food for you."

At first Green doesn't see anyone, and he's almost concerned until he sees a red-headed guy pop up from behind some counter in quite a state of disarray. The guy looks tired and yet somehow wide awake. 

"Ethan sent you?"

"Uh, yeah. He got you sushi but had to run off to practice."

Silver - presuming this  _ is _ Silver, he hasn't actually introduced himself properly yet - looks Green up and down and decides to accept that this is how his evening is going now. "Figures. I was hoping he'd be more on top of his schedule, but apparently I set the bar too high."

"Please," Green kinda grins, amused even at Ethan's expense. "I've heard him set seven alarms in one morning, and he  _ still _ ran out of the dorm late. He's doing his best, at least."

"Yeah, that's about all the credit you can give him." Why is Ethan friends with this guy again? "You're his roommate? What's your name?"

"Green. You're Silver, I take it?"

"Mhm. Never saw you around the room," Silver adds, "so I wasn't sure to believe him when he said he had a roommate at all."

"I mean, that depends on when you've been around," Green counters. "I'm not really in the dorm that often to begin with, to be honest with you."

"Seems like it." Silver shuffles through some photographs, clicks through a camera, apparently doing whatever photography entails. "I left around midnight one day and you were still nowhere to be found."

Green kinda squints at Silver. "What were you two doing at midnight, anyway?"

Silver stops a bit, and a blush creeps up on his face, and Green's got all the answer he needs. "Just… studying. That's all."

"Fair enough." He won't press, though. Unlike  _ some _ people (Leaf), he's not one to tease. "I usually study out in the library, so if you keep missing me, it's been because I was over there." 

"Past midnight?"

"Oh yeah. It's not hard for me to study through the night."

"Tch. Valedictorian, huh?"

Uh. "How'd you know?"

" _ My _ school's valedictorian goes here too, and she'd do the same thing," he explains. "Name's Kris, you might've heard of her from Ethan. They met up on day two at the dining hall and Ethan hasn't left her alone since then."

"Yeah, Ethan's a clingy one." Silver is still fiddling with his camera. "Hey, put that down and eat somethin'. Sushi's better when it's still at least kinda cold."

Silver rolls his eyes, but then he looks at the little sushi box and decides it's more enticing than his work. "Fine. I'll multitask." Pause. "You can stick around, if you want. The front door locks in a minute, and the back exit is kinda hard to find."

"Oh yeah? Why do they lock the front doors?"

"Because we've got this studio here, shit's expensive. You don't wanna be replacing half the chemicals you've got in the dark room because some drunk hooligan snuck in here and decided to find a delicious beverage."

Green snickers. "Are they doing that from experience?"

"Oh yeah. Our professor told us not to bring too many people down here for the same reason, too, like," and Silver imitates this womanly French accent as he speaks, "oh, you will be, how you say, endangering our materials that we must share with each other. We do not share with our friends outside, they do not know the dark room. It is secret."

"Hey, sounds fair enough to me."

"Mmhm." Silver shoves two pieces of sushi in his mouth at once, barely managing to keep the conversation going. "So they lock the front doors. Too many thefts down here. Back door is swipe-in only after seven."

"Right, right." Green scans the counter, trying and failing to count how many photos Silver has there. It's easily a hundred, he can gather that much. "You been down here all day?"

"More or less." He finally swallows the sushi. "I don't like - "

A cabinet on the other side of the room swings itself open. Both of them stay dead silent, torn between admitting that was odd or not.

"...don't like being down here at night." Another bite of sushi, and Silver shuts the door without much acknowledgement. "Gets really cold. The ventilation is horrible."

"I'd take cold over hot. Our air broke down in the first week of the semester in East halls and it was sweaty as hell for a good three days."

Silver groans. "Christ, that sounds awful." Footsteps. Loud footsteps overhead. "I'd rather die."

"...who's stomping up there?"

"I dunno," he shrugs, "dance kids? Some of the fine art students here are friends with the  _ performing _ arts kids and they bring them in here and they - " and another cabinet swings open, and Silver just walks to it and shuts it, " - tend to be loud as all hell, it's annoying. I've got enough migraines as it is." Pause. "It's ghosts, if you ask Lyra."

At long last, there's a hint of admission, and Green isn't sure if he should feel like he's crazy or not. It's hard to tell if Silver's more a skeptic or a believer - and honestly, Green's still struggling with that debate in his own mind, too.

"Do you believe her?" So he'll make Silver decide first.

"Mm." How eloquent. 

"Is that a  _ no, _ or…" 

Silver kinda glances up, shoves another piece of sushi into his mouth, goes over to another cabinet and opens it, shuffles around. "I think it's an old building. Old campus. This building in particular used to be part of an old barn, apparently."

"Huh. Wouldn't have guessed it, with all the brick. I always imagine barns as like, y'know, wood."

"Yeah, it burnt down. They kept the footprint of the building, apparently. The rest was burnt off back in - "

The open cabinet closes. Green absolutely did not jump.

"... _ thank _ you for that, really. Not like I was actively putting my supplies away or anything." Why is he so unfazed? Is Green really the only one who's kinda freaked out by ghosts? "See, this is why I don't like being down here too late. I dunno if it's ghosts or what, but this place is gross after dark." 

"Right." Pause. He's not sure if he should mention his own experiences or just leave it up in the air for now.

"Besides," Silver adds, "it sucks walking home at night. It's like, yes, I get it, I wasted all day inside and the sun's down now, fuck you too, nature."

"What, do you get lost after dark?"

"Yes!" Silver slams his hands on the table. "And my dorm is only five minutes away! What the hell?! Who designed this place?!"

There's a bit of energy to Silver that's peeking out through this angry persona, and Green is starting to think he can see why Ethan likes him so much. "I mean, campus used to be a manor for some fancy-ass nobleman, from what I've heard."

"I'd like to speak to his goddamn manager, please," Silver groans. "Lyra's been obsessed with Ouija boards lately and I have half a mind to use it and just ask him why the hell he made this place a goddamn maze."

Ah. Back to this. "So, I mean…  _ do _ you believe in ghosts?"

"I… augh." Silver sighs. "I dunno. I think sometimes shit happens that doesn't make sense. I dunno if I'd say it's ghosts, or what, but… it's something. When a place has been around long enough, I think it gets a little weird no matter what. You ever been to Italy? Some of those old ruins hit different." 

"Wish I had literally any amount of money to go, but alas."

"If I head out over spring break, you can tag along."

"...you sure about that?"

"Yeah, you seem cool enough." Silver finishes off the sushi. He damn near inhaled it. 

"No, I mean, that's… that's  _ expensive, _ man."

"Dad's got friends over there. It's not too pricey."

"But like - food, air fare, train tickets - "

"Green, my dad has  _ friends _ over there. Business friends."

"Yeah? What's he do for work?"

Pause. "He's an accountant." 

_ Accountant, _ with practically visible quotes. Alright. Weird flex.

"I think the place is just old, at the end of the day," is Silver's conclusion. "Haunted or not, old places have weird vibes. Time's a little altered the longer something's been around and the more history it's seen, I think."

"Yeah, yeah." He hears footsteps overhead again. 

"...let's get outta here. It fucking sucks when they turn the heat off."

Green checks his phone. It's only a little past seven. He could still catch up with Red and get something for dinner with him. 

...why is  _ that _ his first thought when he checks the time?

"You lead the way," Green says. "You know this place better than I do."

"Fortunately."

Silver's quick to pack his bag and head out the door, leaving Green kinda rushing to keep up. He doesn't seem quite  _ frantic _ to get out, no, he just… probably always walks this fast, if Green had to guess. Might be a caffeine rush. The thumping from upstairs isn't exactly comforting, though. Green's fine with a hasty escape, at this rate.

"So did Lyra invite you over to some hangout next weekend?" Silver asks. "Wait - do you know Lyra? I just assumed you would, if you know Ethan."

"Yeah, yeah, we've met a few times. She's been pretty insistent on dragging me along, so I don't think I've got a choice."

"Figures. Girl doesn't know when to take a breath. She's annoying."

"Why are you friends with her, then?"

"Well, she's Ethan's friend."

"Doesn't mean she has to be yours, too."

Silver pauses, and the only sound in the building is their synchronized footsteps, echoing just out of time with each other, just enough to sound like something else is there. "I dunno. She's not that unpleasant to be around."

"Pfff. That's the bare minimum for a friend, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't really… have… friends."

Poor guy. "Well, now you've got me, too, so that's at least three of us."

"Hah." That's all he says. There's a hint of a smile, though. Seems like this is a decent deal then, huh? "Might not be too bad to get everyone in one spot, then, as long as none of you are yelling too much. Noise makes my head hurt."

"Been there, felt that. I'll see how well I can keep everyone in line for you."

Silver grins; it's a bit of a strained expression, but it's a grin nonetheless. "I'd appreciate it. If there  _ are _ ghosts, I'll see about keeping them in line, too. I've got a rosary and an extensive knowledge of Latin and I'm not afraid to go full  _ The Exorcist _ if I must."

"Y'know what, that doesn't sound like a bad idea."

They've taken maybe five different turns and a flight of stairs up before they finally make it outside. Green understands a bit more what Silver means when he says the place is a maze.

"On that note," Silver hums, "I think I'm gonna go catch up with Ethan. His practice is supposed to run kinda long, but I've got nothing better to do."

"Lucky. No classwork today?"

"I've been working on  _ that," _ and he points at the building, "since nearly seven in the morning. I am  _ done." _

"...yikes."

"Yikes indeed." Pause. Silver shifts awkwardly. "Thanks for bringing food over, by the way. I didn't think to pack anything myself."

"Hey, no problem - thank Ethan for buying it."

"Guess I have to." He's blushing again. Poor guy's an open book.

"You say that like it's a death sentence."

"Well, whenever we - Ethan is just - it's so - " Silver groans, and that's it, that's the sentence. "Whatever. You'll get it when we hang out sometime."

"I'll bring the popcorn for whatever's goin' on there."

"Don't you  _ dare," _ Silver snarls. Green just smirks. "I'll fight you."

"Alright, alright." Green realizes he shouldn't be fighting the guy with an "accountant" dad, come to think of it. "Might be nice to hang out when we're not summoning ghosts, though, don't you think?"

Silver shrugs, then seems to think about it more. "Maybe we can grab some pumpkins. I need something to take out my aggression on."

"You… you mean you're gonna carve it?"

"Nah. Just smash it."

_ Terrifying! Thanks.  _ "Alright."

Silver seems to realize that was a weird thing to say, and he seems to realize there is no way to fix it. "Well, I'm off. See you around."

"Yeah, yeah. See ya."

Green looks back in one of the windows of the building, he's not sure why, but he does. Something zips past and Green thinks he has a good sense of why Silver  _ actually _ doesn't like being in there after sundown. 

Or maybe he does just hate the cold. Whatever.

Green heads back to his own dorm, decides to just take a breather for the night. It's… frustrating, to say the least, this touch and go between  _ this place is haunted _ and  _ there's no way this place is haunted. _ It's easier with Red around. Red has a good sense of what happens and what  _ doesn't  _ and in his absence, Green just feels unsteady.

The funny thing is he feels similarly in class, too. He can focus all his energy into note-taking and absorbing as much information from the lecture as possible, but the way university classes run is… it's different from high school, of course it is, but it breaks just enough of Green's routines that he feels lost. He'd been wandering in and out of social groups and schedules until he met Red, and - and Red has broken his routines too, he's breaking down his entire concept of  _ reality _ at this point, but every break in schedule and consistency and  _ normalcy - _ Red handles it all beautifully. For someone who's so anxious, he really knows how to just roll with the punches, let the current take him wherever it desires, he's, he's… 

Green looks up and realizes he's two blocks from where he was supposed to be.

...how long was he thinking about Red?

"This is weird." The feelings and the ghosts and the way his head is battling his heart on every front, it's all weird. "I can't keep doing this shit, I'm just - I'm just gonna - "

[Red: !!! do u want dinner :?]

[Green: oh totally, i'll swing by your room and we'll head out before everything closes, yeah?]

[Red: mhm! ^^]

He's just gonna fall in love, apparently. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every time i go to post a new chapter ao3 wants me to set the chapter's publication date to october 22 and i dont know why. anyway.  
> here is a chance for me to throw my _Silver's dad is a high profile italian criminal man and Silver exploits that fact to live a lavish life as a kinda bratty rich kid who's probably never had to take his own trash out before and he is appalled that he has to do that in his own dorm_ concept. so here. take it. take this boy and get out  
> im a bit drained and i have no other words of wisdom down here i am sorry


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Red is afraid of a lot of things. Crowds. Doctor's appointments, walking alone at night. Public speaking, judgment, abandonment, losing the ones he loves._   
>  _He is not afraid of ghosts._

It isn't surprising more so than it is frustrating.

"Do you feel like activity is already picking up around here?" Leaf asks, and Red just nods. "Thought so. I keep getting weird readings on my EMF meter when I'm just out and about. I can't tell if I'm hitting cold spots, 'cause it's been getting colder lately anyway, but, you know, the EMF does what it does. I dunno if I should do some impromptu investigations or wait for 'em to get more riled up, or what. What do you think?"

Red shrugs. 

"...you're too busy thinking about him again to answer me, aren't you?"

"Shut up." 

She's not entirely wrong. 

It's just… strange. Green isn't a medium, as far as Red can gather, and yet he still seems to notice things too often. He doesn't quite  _ see _ them, no, but he knows they're there, and so do they. Worse yet, he's not familiar enough to know how to cope when something reaches out to him. It leaves Red wondering why they seem attracted to Green, though, what must be underlying this half-skeptic to the point that he's close enough to the other side that it reaches back out to him. Sometimes people are just easy targets but Green is really a middle ground on that front… yet another theory out the window.

Red had initially figured it was just a byproduct of Green spending too much time with him, perhaps, or maybe it was just because of how haunted the campus is to begin with. He thought maybe it had something to do with Green always being up late at night, or spending too much time around people who seem to disregard any paranormal safety precautions, maybe it was just that he's always in the most active buildings, maybe it was just coincidence, maybe, maybe…

It's beyond explanation. Every  _ maybe _ that Red can come up with, he can shoot it down just as fast. Green's situation isn't inherently  _ unique _ in any way. The fact that he has this subtle draw to him is inexplicable. Not quite a magnet but a point of interest nonetheless.

"Red." Red finally looks over at Leaf, who's giving him a look of  _ man you are hopeless. _ "Are you listening?" 

"...maybe."

"Figures," she sighs and smacks the brim of his hat to sit over his eyes. "Stop picking out your wedding flowers and focus."

...Green likes sunflowers.  _ I just think they're cool, _ he'd said,  _ the way they follow the sun, and they get  _ really _ tall too, yeah? That's awesome, right? I swear, when I get a house, I'm tempted to just plant sunflowers all around the back yard and use 'em as a fence instead of getting one of old-school tacky white fences. _

Red feels like that would be easy enough to arrange. He's not sure how much Green knows about gardening, but Red would help him.

"If you're still thinking about him though," Leaf starts, "did you hear if he's still getting dragged along with Lyra and co's seance party?"

Red shrugs. "Maybe."

"If he is, you're coming with me."

Red flinches a little. "No."

"Red - "

"Don't wanna."

"Red…"

Red has been in his dorm all day. He has class in an hour but Leaf decided to drop by first,  _ get outta bed, I may not be right next door to you, but I'm still your sister and I'm legally obligated to wake you up. _ Admittedly, he can't say he blames her for still playing the _ big sister hassles little brother _ role. He didn't set any alarms to wake himself up this morning. 

He sits here now, though, among the first company he got out of class yesterday morning. He can at least ease into being extant with her. Leaf, the EMF meter, IR cameras and flashlights, it's familiar enough that he can root himself to the earth before he has to pretend to be a normal person again.

At least it's Friday. He can go back into isolation soon.

"Y'know," Leaf sighs, "it'd be kinda nice to not have to deal with whatever they unleash on my own. I've got my gadgets but you've a better eye for this kind of thing."

Red shakes his head. "Shouldn't. I'll cause more trouble being there."

"What do you propose we do, then?" Leaf asks. "Besides just not doing it at all. Trust me, I keep telling Lyra it's not a great idea, but she's got Kris and Ethan as her local skeptics, and I don't think Silver cares enough to try and talk her out of it." 

He shrugs, noncommittal as always. "If you're worried about them, just go with them."

"Well, aren't you worried about Green?"

He hesitates. "I'll see him again. If there's anything stuck to him, I'll handle it."

"Fair enough. Just tell him to not bother  _ doing _ the seance, y'know, maybe just sit back with Kris and watch the madness go down. That oughta be a decent buffer."

"...you're planning on participating."

"W-What?" 

Red sighs. He tries to glare at Leaf,  _ you gotta be kidding, _ but he has a feeling he looks more tired than intimidating. "You know that's a bad idea."

"Of course it is. If something sticks to  _ me, _ though, at least I'll know what to do."

"So you're going into this with the intent of being their lighting rod?"

Leaf shrugs this time. "What else do I do?"

Red sighs again. "I dunno."

"Exactly. Look, we'll be fine, and if we run into any trouble, I'll let you know. I know I don't see things like you do, but I know how to negotiate, at least." Leaf always has a smug grin about her when she gets confident, and it always makes Red worry that she'll get in over her head. 

"So you don't really need me to go."

"Well, again, it'd be easier if you did - unless you're super sure you'd attract things instead of just managing them…" Red nods a little. "Alright, fine. Lyra ordered a Ouija board online and she said it'll get here next week, so she'll probably drag us around next weekend. Which means - "

Uh oh.

" -  _ this _ weekend, we're free to do whatever we want." Leaf smiles sweetly, but there's a bit of chaos below her expression, as omnipresent as Red's fatigue. "You oughta come with us and hang out. You need to get out more."

Red whines. "Wanted to stay inside this weekend."

"You always stay inside, dummy." Pause. "We are going to get pumpkins, and you are going to come with us."

"...they'll rot before Halloween."

"Of course they will, if we carve them. I wanna make pumpkin pie."

"...Leaf."

"Red."

"You almost set our kitchen on fire back home when you tried to make cookies."

"And?"

Red rolls his eyes. He's not about to stop her, but his hand will be on the fire extinguisher the whole time. "Good luck with that." 

Leaf just laughs. "If I fail, it'll be a good story! Now get to class, you're gonna be late if you don't leave now."

"You need to leave my room too, then. I can't lock you in here."

"I can re-lock it, I've got some hair pins and about ten minutes to spare."

"...please don't lockpick my room, Leaf."

"Don't look so annoyed! You know you'd be bored without me!"

She's not entirely wrong. Not entirely right, either.

Red keeps his headphones on whenever he walks to class; it makes people less likely to engage with him, drowns out the noise from crowds of students filling the sidewalks across the road. The noise does make him realize how quiet his room is, though. He prefers that. No matter how often Leaf tries to convince him that he needs to make new friends, he's already got Green, and he's content to stop there. 

He hopes Green won't get annoyed with him. He's already offered to bring Red along on a few outings and Red has turned him down every time.  _ Too noisy, _ Red had said, and Green had nodded and said  _ yeah, I hear ya, just text me if you wanna hang out at all, alright? _

Red never texts with any intent of joining the group.

He has yet to go downtown from campus, but he's been told it can be a little peculiar in its energy, from what Leaf has said. She went out for dinner with Green and Ethan and all them and while nothing significant happened, she said she could hear footsteps on the floor above them the whole time. Otherwise, they just spent the evening laughing and chatting and arguing over how many desserts to order for the table.

...maybe he  _ does _ regret keeping himself cooped up. Maybe not.

He always enters this building through the back, it's quieter and it's actually a bit of a shorter walk to get to the lecture hall. It's loud today, though, he feels electricity in the air from somewhere and he can't quite tell  _ where _ because it's so overwhelming. It doesn't feel like a single entity, no. It feels like someone  _ opened _ something in here.

_...fuck. _

There's something about the idea of a haunting that seems to send people's alignments into a spiral. They either bury themselves in their rationality,  _ this is impossible, ghosts aren't real, _ or they spin into the ether,  _ I wanna see if it's real, I wanna get scared, _ and either way, Red is always the one who comes away tired of it all. It's why he hates October. People either mock his reality or make it into a circus. 

Either way, he ends up picking up the pieces. He wonders if dad had to deal with this when he was young, too.

The electric air thins and wavers as Red nears the lecture hall, and he elects to just ignore it for now. Maybe it'll go away. Maybe not. He doesn't want to spend his energy on that yet. 

"Hey, Red."

Red gives a shallow wave. He'll spend his energy on class and on Green. That's all.

"You alright, man?" Green asks. "Sleep bad again?"

Red nods, and Red scribbles a reply down on his notebook.  _ (Didn't set my alarm today.) _

"Oh, man, I've been there. You can make your alarms go off on a schedule so you don't run too late again, y'know?"

Red nods, sighs. He sets his head down on the desk and Green pats his head. Red shuts his eyes for a moment and pretends he doesn't like that as much as he does.

It's a murky class this morning, more so than usual. The only way he feels he's actually  _ learning _ anything is because he's mostly drawing the diagrams on the screen today. That's enough learning for him. Words? What are those? He certainly doesn't know. He never talks anyway. Maybe he can just pretend he never learned any language at all and people would leave him alone. Ironic that he's fluent in two languages and he barely uses either of them. Not like people usually know sign language anyway. 

It's funny, Green keeps just taking pictures of the diagrams on his phone,  _ I just need to see the words and I'll figure it out, _ but Red doesn't think in words. He thinks in pictures and feelings and colors and moments. He can listen to Green talk for hours on end, but when he thinks back on the conversations, he remembers less the words that were said and more the energy behind them, essence and illustrations over prose. Red is no good at talking but he's good at  _ listening _ and Green seems to like that. 

Green seems to like  _ him. _ That makes getting up at such an early hour of the morning worth it.

Red always waits until about 15 minutes after the mid-class break before he excuses himself to the bathroom; it's quieter that way, gives his head a bit of a reprieve from the way the professor's microphone hums and the way the screen flickers just enough to hurt his eyes. He just… he's not built to exist in this world. He's too sensitive to everything. It annoys him and he's sure he annoys everyone else in that regard.

It's why his first thought when Green doesn't come back after the break is  _ he's annoyed with me and doesn't feel like coming back. _

Red waits and reels for maybe five minutes before he leaves the lecture hall to investigate. He anticipates the worst for no other reason than the fact that his anxiety assures him the worst outcome is the only possibility. 

He feels the electric hum in the hallway again and feels a little sick. He realizes that energy might be coming from - from the bathrooms, the only part of this building that has  _ fucking mirrors for god's sake - _

Red sighs. He didn't wanna use his energy on this today, but the pressure is on now. Mirrors are bad news, they -

Ah. This is where Green has been. 

Red had pushed the door open quietly out of fear of seeing another person in here, but at least it's just Green - but at the same time, this sends Red's head reeling back to his thoughts from the one-sided conversation with Leaf this morning. He still doesn't know why these things latch onto Green. 

...he  _ really  _ should convince Green not to play into Lyra's stupid seance idea. 

For now, though, Red has one matter to focus on. Green is staring at the mirror in front of him, eyes wide, skin paler than usual. He looks like he wants to say something, and he does start to, just a quiet  _ I,  _ but then he just sighs and falls silent.

"I'm goin' insane."

He's not. Red isn't sure how to tell him that without making Green think they're  _ both _ insane. 

Green leans toward the mirror, taps his fingers against the glass. He touches his cheek, looks down at the basin of the sink, back up to the mirror, then just runs his fingers through his hair with another sigh. That's enough for Red to conclude that yeah, something came through the mirror. Whether it was some kids fucking around in here or maybe just a surplus of energy on campus that found a thin patch in the veil, it doesn't matter. This isn't new to him and this won't be hard.

"...oh, Red." Green jolts a little and Red realizes that yes, he has been staring at Green for a little too long. "I thought someone was watchin' me, heh."

"Sorry." His voice is barely audible, but he's sure Green can hear him anyway.

"You're good, it's good, uh… yeah." Pause. "I'm gonna run back to class. I'll let you know if you miss anything good."

"Mhm."

Green leaves in a bit of a rush. Good.

Red sees things but he doesn't tend to interact with them; when it's an open door, though, fine, he'll face whatever comes his way. He always carries some supplies with him because he always does this on the spot. He usually reserves this process more for urgent situations, but this could escalate quickly enough. Mirrors are less mirrors and more like timebombs when it comes to ghosts. The fact that something must have shown itself to Green, perhaps even distorting his vision of himself in the mirror - bad news.  _ Very _ bad news. Not much time to spare, now.

The lights go out.

"You should know I'm not going to back down." 

The air cools, then plummets into freezing temperatures. Red can see his breath and it doesn't even begin to phase him. 

"It's already too loud here." No answer. "Were you here when you were alive?"

There's no verbal answer, but he feels something breathing down his neck as he digs through his bag. That's as much of an answer as Red needs.

"If you weren't, you know you shouldn't be here. You need to leave."

**Don't tell me what to do.**

"Don't talk to me like you  _ own _ me."

Red's voice is generally very soft, low yet light, this picture perfect snapshot of someone who never outgrew his childhood timidity. Mom always said she thought he'd outgrow it one day, melt that frigid shyness with the burning spirit he carries deep inside his heart. Red's voice is still like snow, though, light cold flakes falling from an overcast sky in the middle of January. 

When Red speaks to the entities beyond, he is cool, quiet. When they speak to him like that, he is  _ frigid. _

The stall doors start rattling aggressively behind him, threatening to shake themselves off their hinges, a clear message of  _ get out _ that Red refuses to heed. He's started his work and he intends to  _ finish _ it.

**Out. Now.**

"No.  _ You _ get out."

**Out.**

"You're dead. Get  _ out." _

He swears he could feel something grab his arm. If it isn't scratching him, it isn't worth worrying about. 

Red's movements are swift and smooth; he's on autopilot now. He used to watch dad draw symbols like these on the windows sometimes, during moments where things seemed to be turbulent and unpredictable, when the house was prone to breeding aggression and confusion.  _ To keep the bad thoughts out and make us all happier, _ he'd say, and to date Red isn't sure if the land they used to live on was haunted or not. 

Maybe Red was the problem all along. 

He feels the presence behind him. The mirror is covered in swirling symbols traced in water and the flecks of crushed rosemary. 

**Look.**

Red turns around to see. He does not look in the mirror.

It's difficult for him to tell if something has physically manifested or if he's the only one who can see them, but sometimes he sees them and he uses that to his advantage, stares right into its eyes when he speaks. There's a sense of power that's lost when the enemy is no longer hidden. People can be just as malicious behind computer screens as spirits are behind the veil. 

People are worse, though. They cannot be warded off with herbs and salt.

"Out."

Red swears he smells blood but he doesn't waver. The entity approaches slowly, twitching all the while, sunken eyes desperate to pierce Red's determination. Maybe the entity did look like this in its dying hours. Maybe its hair was matted and dirtied, maybe its skin was gaunt and dripping, maybe its nails were overgrown to the point of looking more like talons than fingers, maybe its smile was slack and wide and its teeth were rotting away in its mouth.

Maybe it just thinks it can scare him.

Red is afraid of a lot of things. Crowds. Doctor's appointments, walking alone at night. Public speaking, judgment, abandonment, losing the ones he loves.

He is not afraid of ghosts.

"You don't belong here." It croaks at him and Red just narrows his eyes. "You're too loud. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

**_What do you think you are?_ **

"Alive."

He's not sure if the breeze in the room is imagined or not. 

"Unfortunately."

He knows the ghost screeches and lunges at him.

He dodges the attack, and then it's over in a matter of seconds. The ghost launches itself inadvertently into the mirror, and it screeches from behind the glass. Red dips his finger in the last of the rosemary elixir and rushes to finish the sigil on the mirror. He doesn't bother to focus on the reflection itself. He already knows what he'll see. Green touched his cheek and went pale and made his double-takes;  _ what did I just see, that couldn't have really been me, my face feels fine so what did I see - _

Red does smell blood, though. Nosebleed, probably. 

**_Let me out._ **

"No. You don't have to go home but you - "

**_LET. ME. OUT._ **

_ "You can't stay here." _

It is as loud as Red can manage to speak, but it's enough.

He murmurs. Red has to admit he's not really sure what the brief incantation means, hell he doesn't think he could even write it if he was pressed to do so. He just remembers the syllables, the tone, the cadence, he thinks in moments and experiences and not in words, never in words. He thinks in moments and the moment has passed, the cold air and the slamming doors and the electric energy all just  _ stop _ when Red draws one last circle and falls silent and holds his breath. 

The room warms up. The lights go on.

His reflection looks right at last, and he exhales, relieved, tired, drained. He has a nosebleed but that's it, nothing more. Just a lingering feeling of something amiss, barley amiss. 

He feels tired. Feels -

"...Red?"

Green says his name and now all Red feels is a need to run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello welcome to _very tired psychic Red_ the feature length film  
> fun fact i actually have a bit of a fear of mirrors myself bc one time i overheard a story about some kids in my grade getting attacked by bloody mary and i never got over it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ of all the things for me to cling to idk why it was that but here we are ig  
> minimal proofreading the depression is worse today lads uvu


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"...I knew something was wrong when you were looking at yourself in the mirror."_

He is here to deliver notes from the second half of class, and that's it.

Green, though, cannot for the life of him, resist the urge to ask Red what the hell happened in the bathroom.

It looked like - felt like - something out of a movie. He thought it was just the normal haunted school shit at first (hah, _normal,_ he says), then it escalated, and then he left and went back to check on Red but then Red was - he was - god, Green doesn't even know _what_ he was doing. He was tracing patterns on the mirror and the doors were slamming and the bathroom felt as cold as winter but, but… 

Red was brave. 

The stupid thing about this is that Red's bravery is the most striking thing in Green's eyes. Green isn't necessarily _unfazed_ by the rest of it, no, the rest of the events in that bathroom still make him shudder. It was the way Red acted that still resonates loudest in his head, though, fast and confident and, and -

Red had almost _yelled._

He's never heard Red raise his voice before. He barely hears Red talk at all some days. Sometimes Red just doesn't say anything, just gestures vaguely and prefers to text. It's fine, really; Green is just happy to be around him when he can. The relative silence is comfortable around him. Silence only broken by creaking floorboards and little hums from Red.

It's funny, Green thinks, because he feels like he's not usually one to listen so closely to subtle noises. He focuses on the bigger picture, the louder foreground, and failing that he withdrawals into his own little world, but suddenly Red is in his life and it's as if he's seeing a world that's been hidden away for years. It's some secret reality of bumps in the night and shadows in his peripheral vision and quiet laughter at his shitty jokes, a voice so soft and so subtle that even when he walks into the laundry room in the basement of the dorms, even when he's hit with this sudden chill, sudden unease, there is some comfort because he's there with _Red_ and his presence mediates Green's fear and - and - 

Oh, shut up. Now is not the time to be getting lost in thought.

(Now is not the time to be getting lost in his feelings.)

Now is _not_ the time to be getting lost in thought. Green wonders if now is even the time to ask questions, but curiosity is killing this cat, unfortunately. Red _bolted_ out of the bathrooms and Green hasn't been able to stop thinking about it.

Green learned that Red's dorm is three doors down from his own on the first night they met, when they walked back from the library at nearly one in the morning. _Funny how that worked out, eh?_ Green had asked, and Red had just nodded, silent as ever. Green said the same quote the other day when they ran into each other on the way back to their dorms again, Green coming home from picking up food for the dorm and Red coming back from a gen-ed class, and that time Red had giggled a bit and smiled and, and… 

Now is _not_ the fucking time.

Green takes a deep breath and tries to decide just what he should say, how he should ask about this - what he should even ask, for that matter. It's a tricky balancing act, he's aware of that. Red can be a bit avoidant sometimes and Green is well aware that one wrong step can make him clam up completely, and that's the last thing Green wants to happen.

Maybe second to last, actually; the last thing he wants is to face to face whatever happened in there again. 

It looked… wrong, that's all the description he can muster up. It looked wrong, looked like a corpse, and he was so sure that he must've been sleep-deprived or overworked or - or _something,_ there had to be a logic to it. 

He'd rubbed his eyes, looked back in the mirror, and it was gone. He splashed some water on his face and when he looked in the mirror again, his face was _open_. Bleeding. He could smell it.

He's not sure if Red saw the same self-mutilation, but if he did, Green has to wonder if he almost puked, too.

Green runs his thumb over his cheek again. His skin is all there. No open burn blisters, no blood, no jaw bones peeking through inexplicable wounds. It's fine. He's _fine._

He's not shaking. He knocks on the door and he is not shaking.

"Y-Yo," fuck, he's not stuttering, he's not scared just _thinking_ about it, nothing is even happening, "yo, Red? I've got notes for you, man."

It takes a solid two minutes until he hears Red's footsteps, which Green knows is about average for him. He'd found it odd at first, but then he'd been hanging out in Red's room one day, _come on, let's bounce, we should grab dinner before everything closes,_ and even then it had taken Red a few minutes to pull himself off the bed. He's just like that.

...does he think about Red too much? Maybe they just - it's just because they spend a lot of time together. Yeah. 

_(Just gonna fall in love,_ he realized, but it's a steep drop, and he's hesitant.)

When Red opens the door, it only opens enough for him to look out, and when he waves it's a more shallow gesture than usual. Subtle, Red is subtle. Green had thought it was like being around a ghost when they first met. Sometimes he's still like that, like this, and Green remembers why he had that thought in the first place.

"You holdin' up?" Red just nods, silent as ever. "Yeah? You ran off kinda suddenly, I wasn't, uh, sure what… what was up."

Red shrugs a little. It's a stalemate and Green is going to have to take the risks.

"Can I come in?"

Red doesn't answer verbally, but he opens the door enough for Green to come inside. Usually Green would already be talking his ear off by now, but he's struggling to find the right words to say in this moment.

"I, uh… yeah." Pause. "Finished out the lesson notes and all that. You'll have to forgive me for not drawin' the diagrams properly, 'cause, y'know, it's a lot for me to uh… yeah, y'know." Green trails off inconclusively. Red nods. Stalemate. "I dunno how you do it." Red shrugs. "Yeah." A nod. 

Damn it all.

"Look, man, I don't wanna be too blunt, but like… what the hell happened back there?"

"Sorry."

...sorry? 

"What're you apologizing for?" Red just shrugs. "It's not like I'm mad, or anything. I'm just… I dunno, confused?"

"Sorry." His voice wavers that time.

"You're fine, it's fine." Green swears he sees _sorry_ ghosted on Red's lips again. "It's alright…" 

It's an unconscious gesture. Green takes Red's hands in his own, gingerly wraps his fingers around as if Red would break under any more pressure, and Green wonders if he would (if he's about to break, even, Red flinches and lets out a startled little gasp and his eyes widen at the touch but he doesn't pull away). Red's eyes dart from their hands to Green's eyes then down and up and down until he finally just… looks at Green, peers up at him from under the brim of his hat.

It's only now that Red looks so intently at him with those puppy-dog eyes that Green really starts to feel flustered.

_Now is not the fucking time._

"I-I mean," goddamn it he is _not_ stuttering, "I'm not mad, nothing - nothing's wrong, but uh, if uh, if you don't wanna get into it, it's - that's totally fair. I just… something weird happened on my end too and I… dunno. Wanted to know if you knew anything, but, um, uh," why is he still holding Red's hands oh no stop that - "...it's up to you, Red."

He lowers his eyes to his hands, still clasped around Red's own. The eye contact makes this unbearable at last and they both pull away and Green swears, he _swears_ neither of them are blushing. 

"Yeah, yeah. It's fine, really."

"...I knew something was wrong when you were looking at yourself in the mirror."

"Yeah?"

"...yeah."

Green wonders if that's just gonna be the end of the conversation. Red turns away and pulls his notebook out, skims over them, drowning the room in silence for a few moments.

"It's not uncommon." He doesn't elaborate at first. "So I wasn't surprised. It's surprising the first time it happens, but it gets old fast. You get to a point where you can tell nothing is really wrong and then there's no real fear in it. Looking in mirrors is pointless, anyway."

He's… still vague. Green isn't sure what to make of it, so he just nods and hopes Red carries on.

"They like to project either the things you'd be afraid to see or the last thing they saw at the time of their death." Pause. "It's hard to tell what belongs here and what's been visiting, though. Too many open doors. Too many passers-by." 

"Ah." What does he say? 

"...notes?"

"Y-Yeah, here." They're just photocopies of Green's own notebook, with pictures of the diagrams pasted in haphazardly. He feels like Red is going to cover the pictures and draw them neatly and his notes will look more pristine than Green's own. 

"Thank you." Pause. "If you close your eyes, they can try to trick your hands. You have to trust that nothing touched you. Innocent until proven guilty."

"Right." Green has _never_ heard Red talk this much, and he's not even totally clear on what they're discussing here.

"I noticed it before class." What? "They feel like static electricity sometimes. It's overwhelming when you're near an open door. I closed the door after I sent it back through the veil. Wouldn't be surprised if another mirror opened up. Mirrors are bad news. They're too sensitive. You barely have to touch them and they can open." Pause. "I don't like seeing myself anyway."

 _Red, pardon me,_ he wants to say, _but what the absolute hell are you on about,_ but he says nothing, because he fears saying anything at all would end the conversation here.

"...do you think you saw a ghost, Green?"

"I-I… what else would it be?"

"Was that the first apparition you've seen?" 

"I… I guess?" Green feels like he's shrinking in on himself. "Besides, uh, whatever shadow-y things are in the library."

"Not full apparitions. I don't count those when I ask if you've seen beyond the veil."

 _Beyond the veil._ The phrase sounds familiar but Green can't place why.

"If - If that's not _haunted_ enough to count, then, uh… yeah." Pause. "What was that thing in the bathroom, anyway? It looked…" Green still doesn't have a better word for it. "Wrong. That - I dunno how else to call it."

"Passing spirit, is my guess. I didn't feel it in the walls, just in the moment. There was nothing residual about it. It appeared so close to the mirrors that it's likely just something that came in and out and that was that."

How is he so fucking calm about this?

"...so it doesn't bother you?" 

"Trust me," and Green feels his world come crashing to a halt when Red says this, "it stops bothering you when you've seen these things for over a decade."

More than a whole fucking decade of - of - 

"Are you - you - " His head is reeling. He'd known Red must be more perceptive to the paranormal once he found out about his and Leaf's investigations, "you've - what do you - "

"What do you want me to tell you?" 

Red sounds tired. His voice wavers when he asks that. Stalemate is closing in on checkmate, he's nearing a loss. Green takes a deep breath and steadies himself, desperately tries to clear his head.

"...do you think the campus is actually, definitively haunted, Red?"

"If you believe in ghosts, yes. If not, nothing is ever haunted." Okay, fair enough answer. "What else?"

"Did I see a ghost in the bathroom, then?"

"If you believe in ghosts, yes. If not, you haven't been sleeping enough." Still… still fair enough.

"Do _you_ believe in ghosts?"

Pause. "I believe in things that I can see."

"And you can see ghosts." Red doesn't answer. "Right?"

"...I don't know what to tell you, Green."

"Either tell me the truth, or don't tell me anything at all."

His chest feels tight. Red takes a shuddering breath and Green follows his lead. Stalemate once again.

"Red… if you want me to drop it, I can, I just - "

"You already brought it up." It's kinda weird hearing Red sound so terse. He's quiet and often short with what he says, but his tone is always just soft and shy, so this - these words spoken through gritted teeth, tensed shoulders, it's a weird look on Red.

"We can stop talking about it though…"

"You already know."

"Yeah, but - "

"I already know you either don't believe me or don't _want_ to believe me, so if you don't believe me, stop asking about it." Oh. Ow. _Ow._ Red sounds hurt and it feels like Green's been stabbed through the heart too.

"Dude, Red, if I didn't believe you, I wouldn't be asking you. I came to you to talk about it because," and he even surprises himself a bit when he says this, "I trust you to know what's actually going on. You're the only one who's noticed the same shit I've been noticing too, y'know? I mean," and now he's just rambling, god, shut up Green, "I know Lyra wants to seduce a ghost or something and Leaf's got all her investigation gear and stuff but like - I mean - sometimes I see shit outta the corner of my eye and I feel like you're the only one who understands it, and I feel like, like…" 

Red finally looks back at Green. If the tension of seeing a gaunt-faced spirit from someone who probably died a few decades ago wasn't overwhelming, looking into Red's eyes definitely is. 

"...I feel less alone with you."

Wait that - that came out wrong, hang on - _no stop blushing Red I didn't mean it like that - I - I don't_ think _I did but - wait did I - what am I -_

"...me too."

Fuck now is really really _really_ not the time for this -

"...It's strange that you're so perceptive, Green." Red looks away. Wait how long were they just staring at each other - 

"I-Is it?"

"I can usually tell when someone else is sensitive. I don't think you are. You just attract these things and you notice them and I don't know why." Pause. "I thought it was just because you were around me too much. I'm a magnet. I was starting to worry I was making things hard on you and it'd be easier if I left you alone."

Ouch. He _really_ doesn't wanna leave Red behind, even if Red _was_ the reason for all this.

"But you keep contacting things before _I_ even make contact. Then that one found you on its own." Pause. "So I think it's just you."

If his heart wasn't already racing, it sure as hell is now. "Why me?"

"I don't know."

"Any wild guesses?"

Red just shrugs. "Sometimes these things happen."

"Well what - what am I supposed to do?"

"Make peace with it and move on." Pause. "Or ask me for help, if you ever need it."

"I-I think I'll take you up on that second one."

"Mm." Red goes back to sorting through his biology notes, seemingly totally fucking unfazed by this - but _of course_ he's unfazed, this isn't news to him. He's probably seen - actually, has he? 

"H-Have you seen worse than that?"

"Oh, much worse." Red says that so casually and it makes Green worried. 

" _Really_ don't think I like that, Red."

"...that's why you might want to keep some distance."

"No no no - " Did he answer too fast? "No way. I just - I'm just…"

"Green - "

"You're my friend, Red. You are _stuck_ with me, got it?" Green crosses his arms, stubbornness overriding fear. "Even if a ghost tries to peel my face off again or whatever, I'd rather see that and be your friend than not have you around at all."

Red looks shocked - shocked at _that,_ of all things, when he's a goddamn _psychic,_ and then he hides his eyes below the brim of his hat. He can't hide his smile. "You're dumb."

"You're dumber. You're not gettin' rid of me that easily."

"Mm. Wouldn't want to."

Green is gonna have a heart attack from either ghastly visions in a mirror, or from the way his heart races at Red's voice. He's not sure which'll kill him first.

"I-I - I wouldn't either, so - s-so there." Red laughs a little and yeah, yeah, Red is cute and that's gonna kill him sooner than anything.

This isn't… normal, is it? This feeling isn't normal. 

_(Just gonna fall in love._ It's a long way down and he's feeling the vertigo.)

"S-So, um," Green reels for a way to derail his thoughts, redirect his heart, "so next time I see my flesh burning off, do I just brush it off, or what?"

"Mhm." Wow. That easy, huh? "Don't trust mirrors on haunted ground. You really shouldn't even look into them at all."

"Huh. Kinda makes me wonder about all the mirrors in the old castle ballroom where they do the homecoming dances…"

"When Leaf and I toured the campus last year, I couldn't go in there."

"Yeah? Is it that bad?"

Red shrugs. "Feels bad. Overwhelming. I have my own apprehensions beside the mirrors, too."

"Ah." He's thinking. "Red."

"Mm."

"You called yourself a magnet." Red hesitates, then nods. "Am I like that too?"

"No." Good. Thank god. "I don't think so, anyway. If something notices you, it seems more likely to reach out, but you don't necessarily attract things en mass, from what I can tell. Everything you've told me since we met indicates that you're experiencing more than your friends, but you're not a magnet. You'd either have to be a psychic or a willing vessel for that to happen."

Ah. "You call yourself a psychic, then - like, that - that's the word for that?"

He hesitates, shuffling back toward a stalemate. "Mhm. Psychic, medium, whatever. There's a few words for it."

"Right." 

It's a lot to process and Green isn't processing it as fast as he'd like. Red has been keeping tabs on all of this shit, he realizes. Every time Green has asked _did you see something move just now, I thought I heard someone over there, I thought you grabbed my sleeve, was that not you? Did you notice that? It's not just me, right?_ \- Red has been keeping tabs and Red has come to his conclusion and he just - he - 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"...what?"

"Why didn't you say something about this sooner?" Green asks. "Like, when I try to rationalize something and you just say _no,_ why didn't you just tell me?"

Red looks away. He seems to slump in on himself, trying to shrink, maybe hoping he'll grow small enough to blow away.

"Didn't think you'd believe me."

"Dude, the reason I'm always asking you if you noticed the shit _I_ notice is _because_ I believe you," Green explains, his tone falling somewhere between frustrated and concerned, more concern for _Red_ than himself. "It's been like that since the night we met, y'know? I brushed off that door slamming and you just said _no,_ like, _no, we didn't just hit it without noticing,_ right?"

And honest to god, he didn't say it that night, but he believed it when he got back to his room. He'd spent most of the walk home fluttering between smalltalk and _Red said it wasn't a normal explanation for this and that and the other and I guess that means I'm not crazy for thinking something felt wrong, right?_ And when he saw something move in the lecture hall the next day, and he asked Red if he saw it, and Red had agreed, and - 

"And we joked about the thing in the lecture hall, and it was just - I just - " It's embarrassing to admit, embarrassing that he's even rambling in unfinished thoughts because he's just _reeling,_ "I dunno, Red, even with all this shit going on, you make me feel like… like it's okay. Like it's gonna be alright."

Red stares quietly at his notes for a few long seconds before he finally answers. "Why do you believe me?"

"'cause I'm seeing this shit too. You said it yourself; you dunno why, but you know I'm seeing it too. If we both look at a cat and it purrs like a cat, why would I doubt you if you told me you see a cat?"

"M-Most people do…"

"Well, I'm not most people."

Red covers his face. Green is worried he might be crying for some reason, but he just whines softly, curls up on himself a bit.

"You're really nice to me."

Um. "Of course I am. I'm your friend."

Just his friend.

Red peers out from between his fingers and he says something that makes Green's heart fucking _explode._

"I like being your friend."

This is it. This is how Green dies. 

"I-I like that too."

"...can we stay friends, Green?"

"You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

Red is finally cheering up. He grins and he fully _laughs,_ it's the first time Green's heard a sound like that come from Red and it's goddamn contagious. 

"You're stickier than a ghost, Green."

"Yeah? Are they clingy?"

"Pretty clingy." Pause. "That's why I was hoping you wouldn't go with Ethan." 

Wait, what… oh. "To the seance they wanna do?"

"Mhm. They notice you before they notice anyone else. If you play along, you'll probably bring something home with you."

"I-I see." Terrifying! Thanks! "Is it - is it still bad news if I'm just there? What if I don't actually do anything, right? I'll just come along for Mario Kart and pizza and call it a night." 

"Mm… maybe." Red shrugs. "It's hard to say. Besides, if they're using some kind of spirit board, it's a blind date. None of you will know who you're welcoming into the room or what it'll do." Pause. "Even I wouldn't know. It's almost impossible to call a specific entity forward. This place is too active for that. Too loud. Can't concentrate enough to pull it off safely."

"Leaf knows how that shit works though, right?"

"Not entirely. Even if she did, it's too hard to control."

"Ah." Pause. "What do we do, then?"

"Ideally, nothing. In your case," and Red looks at him with such intensity but it's warm, gentle, completely contradicting the idea of _intense_ yet somehow his gaze is so compelling, "if nothing else, don't touch the planchette. Don't perform the seance with them and don't engage with anything that enters the room. If anything strange starts happening in your dorm over the following days, tell me." He pauses and looks away. "Then again, if it follows you to your room, it's probably just following _you._ "

"R-Right." 

It's nerve-wracking. Green is busier trying to think of a possible out than he is focusing on Red's advice, now. He feels like he's seen enough for a lifetime but he still has a good seven semesters and some change ahead of him at this point, years of trying to inhabit the same world as… as ghosts.

 _Ghosts._ He hadn't even thought about the word in ages, hasn't considered them since the last time his grandma told him ghost stories around a campfire. Now it's become so commonplace that he has to take precautionary measures to avoid them.

"Are you gonna come, too?"

"No." That answer isn't surprising. "D-Don't like groups. Loud." Red shivers a bit. Funny that he can see the spirits of literal dead people but it's the land of the living that scares him. "Besides, I'm a magnet. I'd cause too much trouble if I went."

"Right." Green sighs a bit. "Y'know, I know we're all a weird buch, but… you oughta come hang out with us sometime." He's almost too embarrassed to say it but, but, "I miss you when you're not around, is… is all."

"Miss…?" The way the blush creeps up Red's face is, is - "M-Maybe."

"I-I mean, i-it's up to you, I mean, I like… yeah." Fuck. Fuck. Change the fucking subject, Green. "Whatever. D-Do you wanna grab dinner downtown since it's a Friday?"

Did… did that sound too much like he's asking Red on a - on a -

"Is that a date?"

"Um…" No. No. It is _not_ a date. It is _not_ but Green is too stunned to answer. 

"That's not a hard question to answer." 

"Y-Yeah, b-but you don't just ask things like that!"

Red laughs again, still a bit flushed, and Green is struggling to process literally any emotions right now, fighting between the idea of _what if a ghost just straight-up strangles me_ and the idea of _what if I held his hand and walked him home and -_

"D-Don't fuckin' laught at me, Red, you - my head's all mixed up with ghost shit right now, I'm not thinkin' straight!" Definitely not thinking _straight,_ no. Fuck.

 _(Just gonna fall in love._ Call of the void, sensation of looking down off a high ledge and feeling the urge to jump.)

"I can tell." 

The way Red says that and the way he's grinning now is - his heart is gonna beat out of his fucking chest. "Can you read minds, too, or - or what?"

"Is there something you don't want me to know, Green?" God _damnit_ for someone who's so shy, he's a hell of a flirt all of the sudden.

"Nope! Just… checking." Red just smirks at Green, and finally Green just cracks under the pressure, just nervously laughs and covers his face. "Shut _up._ "

"Mhm." Smug bastard.

"You're such a jerk. Come on, we're getting dinner before it gets too dark out."

Red doesn't verbally agree, but he does follow Green. Green wonders if he's supposed to hold Red's hand or if he's supposed to brush these feelings off and pretend that was all a joke.

When Red is distracted as their crosswalk light comes on, Green grabs his hand and tugs him across the street, and he pretends there's nothing else to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _happy halloween here's a few pining idiots for you_  
>  hopefully i. actually edited this decently, my sleep schedule's been all out of whack and i've been sleepy all day ;u; but!!! but. pining is good and fluffy and i promise it won't be too angsty for once glares at 9000 meters pining  
> hope yall are getting some good halloween treats and if you don't celebrate, get some snacks anyway, you deserve good things


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He can think again and he thinks he wants to tell Green how much he means to him, and he thinks he's thinking too fast, and he thinks he's more than Green bargained for by now._   
>  _He thinks he'll keep quiet for now._

"You are coming with us, and that is _final."_

"...fine."

He'd rather lie in bed all day.

He does manage to pull himself out of bed, though, throws on his hoodie and his hat and off they go. He was only dressed from earlier that morning when he went out to pick up more snacks for his dorm and he intended to just lay back down and _stay_ there but alas, Leaf is persuasive if not stubborn. 

He's not used to being out and about on the weekends, at least not when the sun is out. It gets crowded here and he hears them from his dorm, he heard them the first weekend he was on campus and he decided _nope, no way, I'll stay in here every weekend and that's that._ The only other time he's been out even close to a weekend was when he got dinner with Green last night, and that was something else, that was kinda quiet and pleasant, they went to some cute diner off a side road and elected that it was decidedly not a date in spite of the intimate setting.

Kinda a shame, too. He would've liked to kiss Green goodnight. 

...he thought he already fell way too hard but somehow Red is now digging himself a deeper hole.

 _(Where are we going?)_ Red signs. He doesn't really use sign language with anyone else, no one else knows it, but it's too loud and Leaf will translate for him if need be. Hopefully. He _thinks_ they're past the point where she tries to urge him into talking.

"We are getting pumpkins," Leaf declares. "It's one of those college fundraisers, so it's like, one per student, which is why _you_ need to come with me." Ah. That explains it.

_(Buy another pumpkin at the store.)_

"These ones are cheaper, and you need to get out anyway." Ugh. "Come on. We've got people waitin' on us."

His heart stops. _He_ stops.

"...Red?"

He doesn't like that. Really doesn't like that. Leaf says that and he just spirals, he feels like he's on camera now, feels watched, desperate desperate desperate to get away and go back home and hide under his blankets but he has a feeling that Leaf won't let him run no matter what. Would be better if the _waiting_ was a burnt out factory, abandoned farmhouse, rotting home evacuated under mysterious circumstances. _Waiting_ this time is in life and, and… can't think. He wants to go home. He wants to go _home._

"Red, come on." 

Leaf kinda tugs his arm and he comes back to reality, stumbles along after her and sighs and hopes the day will end fast.

She's kinda talking and he's kinda nodding, whatever, he's not really processing anything. He likes how the leaves crunch under his feet at least. Sounds nice. Cool breeze feels familiar. Empty, though, vacant, just a normal breeze. Feels nice. He kicks the leaves. He likes how they sound. Can't really focus on much else. Reminds him of every school party where they'd sit around in class on the last day before a break and just "have fun" and it was never _fun_ because it was loud and he couldn't - couldn't talk, couldn't think, he'd leave to go to the bathroom and just not come back.

He wants to go home.

"Hellooo? Are you in there?"

"Mm." It's the best answer Red can muster up. 

"Good. Stay awake bro, you gotta be a human today."

He feels more like a ghost.

Everything sounds a little muffled the closer they get to the crowd. It's not like there's even any real threat but Red still melts into his fight or flight response and he just - just - wants to go home, he's tired already. 

"Hey, Lyra!"

And of course, Leaf is hanging out with the girl who's sworn to summon a ghost just for shits and giggles. Red feels even more exhausted now. 

"Leaf, Leaf!" Lyra rushes over and Red steps back, as if she'd lunge at him, as if he's at risk with her even so close. "I was wondering when you'd get here!"

"I was on my way the second I woke up, don't worry! I just had to get _someone,"_ she means him, and Red shrinks in on himself, "outta his room for once. This is my brother Red, by the way, I dunno if you've met him."

"I haven't!" Her voice is loud. Maybe everything else is just loud. "Nice to meet you!"

Red just nods at her, looks away as soon as he can. Feels sick. 

"Come on! Everyone's out near the middle of the arboretum. The pumpkins are all in that plaza bit by the greenhouse!"

The girls talk and Red contents himself to look around the arboretum. It's a deliberately designed landscape, doesn't quite feel _natural_ necessarily but it's pleasant, landscape architecture would be his next major if he wasn't already studying botany. The crowds are loud but the energy is quiet, doesn't seem to be anything roaming the grounds out here; which is good, Red thinks to himself, because one of his classes will have him working in the greenhouse. If anything from the other side follows him around in there, the plants may wilt, weakened under the weight of the dead.

"Ethan! We've got company!"

She says _Ethan_ but Red's eyes lock onto someone else. There's a handful of people Leaf is dragging Red over to now but his mind is set on one. There's a red-haired boy knelt down and observing a white pumpkin, a girl with baby blue hair tied in neat twintails, the waving boy that is _Ethan_ and - and facing away is -

Green.

"Hey! It's about time you showed up!" Ethan waves back to them but Red's eyes are only locked on Green and he turns while Red is still staring and _oops -_

"Oh, yo," Green waves, and his eyes kinda seem to light up when he notices Red, or maybe it's just Red's wishful thinking, who knows, who cares. Green is here and Red has some semblance of grounding and it's still _loud_ but he feels a little safer now. "Didn't think I'd see you here."

And those words are said a little quieter, and Green is only looking at _him_ when he says it, and for a split second Red feels the world disappear. 

_"I_ didn't think I'd see _you_ here," Leaf counters Green. "You weren't on our group text."

"That's because Ethan doesn't know how to invite people to things. He just woke me up this morning and told me we're getting pumpkins."

"H-Hey!" Ethan is offended. "I know how to invite people to stuff! Just, uh, on really short notice."

"Your scheduling skills are shit, just admit it." The red-head stands up with the pumpkin he'd been eyeing up. 

"Aw, don't pout, Silver," Lyra teases. 

"I am _not_ pouting, thank you very much!"

It gets loud even over here and Red flinches away from the sound, leaves the former safety of Leaf's company to stand at Green's side.

"You doin' alright?" Red nods a bit, a shallow gesture. "Long week?" Another nod. "I feel that."

"Please tell me you both got a little bit of rest - especially _you,_ Green."

Blue-haired girl. Her voice is light and airy and it almost sounds a little bit distant in some way. 

"Listen, I knew it'd be a long week when we went to that fuckin' Honors Society meeting on Monday," Green groans. "Do you know how much of that could've been an email? I'm betting most of it."

The girl rolls her eyes a bit, a seemingly good-natured gesture though. "Oh, it wasn't that boring. I got to meet you, after all."

...Red is jealous. He's not gonna lie to himself. He's just goddamn jealous. 

"Oh, Red," and Red is happy to have a bit of Green's attention back, "this is Kris. Dunno if either of y'all met yet before."

"We haven't," she answers. "Nice to meet you."

Red nods. She nods back and he can't tell if she's offended or not.

"...you think they're gonna calm down any time soon?" Green asks.

"Mm, probably not. Lately, Leaf's been especially… _chaotic,_ is what I'd say," and Red isn't surprised at all, "so I feel like she's willing to stroke the flames a bit."

"At least they're havin' fun." Green sounds a bit weary, though. "C'mon, let's grab some pumpkins. I doubt they'll keep if we carve 'em now, but hey, that means we can make more."

"Someone's finally having some fun, hm?" Kris grins.

"Don't judge me, I'm a perfectionist in remission."

Red stifles a laugh, and he notices how Green glows a bit when he does, and he feels like he's doing something right.

"Red, Red," Leaf catches his attention, and he can't help but jump a little, "we need to get the absolute biggest pumpkins we can find. Absolute unit of a pumpkin. _Huge_ pumpkin."

"What are you planning?" Ethan asks. "Are you gonna punch it, too?" Red's eyes dart between Ethan and Green, settling on Green for comfort, to which Green shrugs. 

"Listen," Silver snaps, apparently offended because those were his plans, "sometimes you just need to blow off some steam."

"By punching a pumpkin, though?" Ethan asks.

"That's what dad let me do when I was a kid."

"Is your dad okay?" Lyra chimes in.

"He's an accountant."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

 _"Everything,_ Lyra. We do things differently in Italy."

"Oh, do you?"

Green looks at Red with a bit of an apologetic gaze. "I think I get why you don't like hangin' around a lotta people now."

Red shrugs, grins at him, shuffles and chips away at the distance between them. Kris raises her eyebrows but says nothing on the matter, notices but refuses to acknowledge. 

"So, Red," Kris starts, and he jolts a bit, "Lyra and Ethan said they were getting some friends together next weekend to hang out. Are you coming along?" 

He shakes his head but that's the best answer he can give. Sign language only goes so far when the only other person knows it is busy trying to lift a pumpkin three times her weight. 

"I see. They'd said they were interested in doing some _spooky things,"_ and he hears the air-quotes in her voice, "and I know your sister is a paranormal investigator, so I thought you might show up too."

He shakes his head again. It's all he can manage.

"I still dunno if it's a great idea," Green comments, and Kris kinda scoffs. 

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I don't think they'll find anything, anyway." 

Skeptical, it seems. He wishes something were nearby to prove her wrong, but the arboretum is surprisingly devoid of activity. It's only in life that the noise is overwhelming. Admittedly, that's worse than the cacophony of death.

"Hopefully," Green sighs. "If they find something, I don't want it following Ethan to our dorm." 

"Do you believe in ghosts?" she asks point-blank. "I'd think _you_ do, Red," and he flinches, "considering your sister's hobby."

He looks away, then at Green, then back at Kris, then just… shrugs. He hates answering to skeptics about this kind of thing. It's always followed with condescension and he's already too anxious for that today.

"I mean," and Green saves the day, turns the tables, "do you?"

"If I experience something I can't explain, I'll believe it's unexplained." It's a vague answer, but it's better than a flat-out _no._ "I think everything _can_ be explained, but perhaps sometimes the explanation is beyond our conventional science. I can't say I've seen anything like that here, though." Oh, she has, he's sure she has and she's just chalked it up to some mundane explanation.

"Hm. Fair. I kinda - " Green is cut off by Ethan shoving a pumpkin into his arms. "Yeah, hello?"

"Hold him gently," is Ethan's request. "They have apple cider near the back and I need, like, forty gallons of it."

"In that case, I'm comin' with ya! C'mon, Red."

Red usually flinches when people say his name but it feels nice when Green says it.

He comes to understand a bit more about this social bubble the more he's around them. Silver's got a quick temper and he's passionate about some of the weirdest things, arguing with Lyra over whether or not Olive Garden food can even be considered adjacent to Italian food or not. Lyra, then, Lyra is just… she's got some of Leaf's chaos to her, but she's somehow even worse on that front. When the group of them sit down with apple cider and homemade cookies from a bake sale, she mentions the time she got banned from her hometown's post office, and when she explains herself even _Leaf_ is surprised, and he sees how Lyra can be reckless enough to hold a seance on haunted ground.

Granted, he's positive that she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. She seems to chase adrenaline but he can already sense she'll get in over her head.

He's a bit more acquainted with Ethan to begin with, being Green's roommate, but he learns that Ethan's a gentler presence than he'd initially thought. The way he cradles his pumpkin in his arms and the warm glow in his eyes when he looks at Silver… he's a bit of a character, but he's soft somewhere below the noise. Kris is softer still, yet somehow she's cold, seems to be locked in some forced cordiality. She speaks sparingly (not like Red is one to talk), and when she does, it's… she's indifferent, a very neutral presence. There's some kind of energy to her that makes him feel like she's not what she seems but he's in no position to pry. 

And then there's Leaf, but he knows his own sister by heart.

And then there's _Green,_ but he's thought about him daily since they've met. He has no new assessments to make, only affection for his laughter and the grounding effect he has on the more chaotic crew. 

He could almost stay content here, if it weren't for the sudden shriek of a speaker turning on. There's a few annoyed groans from around them, and then Red realizes there's a set of drums not too far off and - and music, loud, gonna be too loud - 

Too loud.

The conversation kicks up and so too does the music. Too loud. 

When the crew is distracted by themselves, Red wanders off, tries to distance himself from the music, but it's not far enough and not quiet enough, if anything it's just as loud with the crowds from behind. The drums explode in his ears and the singer isn't _horrible_ but they're too _loud,_ the sound vibrates in his chest and he feels nauseous and he, he - can't focus anymore. Too hard to think. Can't. Either noise from something coming through the veil or noise from the corporeal, either way it's always hard to focus and he hates hates _hates_ noise. 

Too loud. Too crowded. Suddenly aware of how many people are here now that he's left his pack, can't focus on their voices, can only hear a cacophony and he feels hot. He takes a deep breath but it doesn't ground him. Too crowded. Too loud. Even off to the side here, loud loud _loud_ he can't focus. Not sure where to go. Home, probably. Doesn't really wanna leave, kinda likes being around friends but now it's too loud. Hates it.

"Yo, Red."

He almost wants to scream but even if he tried, no sound would come. He jumps and so too does Green. When did he get here?

"Hey, hey," more softly this time, as if Red would break if he were any louder, and he would, Red certainly feels he would. "It's alright. What's the matter?"

Shaking, still struggling to form thoughts, words, dizzy. He gestures lamely to his ear but can't really communicate much more than that. Too loud. Can't think. Band starts the next song and it hurts.

"Oh. Too loud?" Red nods, a jittery sort of motion. Feels like he might cry. Too much. "You wanna take a break?" 

It's almost harder to nod this time, but he manages, forces the motion. He's not sure when he started staring at the ground but the grass hurts his eyes. Weird, repetitive pattern. Hurts. Overstimulation. Everything is too much. Wants to slip through the veil where it's quieter. Ash and dust. A way out. _Let me out._

"Hey, follow me. I know a place."

Suspicious in his wording, perhaps, but anywhere that's not here is ideal. Anywhere quiet. Anywhere with Green.

(Anywhere, if he has Green to himself.)

He hadn't noticed it before but out back from the arboretum, there's an open field, and then a swath of trees beyond that. He wouldn't have expected Green to be the type to just wander away from civilization like that but he does, he takes Red's hand in his own (and only for a minute, it's a minute of heaven but the minute's too short) and leads him out into the unknown. The sound still travels but it gets fainter and fainter, the tall field grass swishes against their legs, the autumn air bites at their cheeks and the sound fades further as the earth becomes real again. Quieter out here, softer. He can think again and he thinks he wants to tell Green how much he means to him, and he thinks he's thinking too fast, and he thinks he's more than Green bargained for by now.

He thinks he'll keep quiet for now.

The leaves are red and gold above him, bronze and brown under his feet. They crunch and it's loud but it's a satisfying noise, rustling outside the chaos of the music he can still faintly hear in the distance, the whisper of a crowd cheering. Green feels close and he blocks a bit of the breeze and it's nice. This is nice. 

"...little better?"

"Mhm."

"Good."

That's all they say for now. Red follows Green diligently into the shadows.

"I came out this way last week," Green admits, "because I couldn't get to sleep. First big exam, y'know, I just got antsy and needed to wear myself out." Pause. "I ended up pullin' a solid 92%, not my best work but I'll take it."

 _Not my best work,_ he says. It's probably the highest grade Red's ever got on… on anything, come to think of it. He rarely pulls much more than a shaky 80-something. 

"And out this way," and he points, and Red inches closer, just to follow his gaze, not for any other reason, "there's a little park area. It's just like, a handful of swings and one of those jungle gyms with a few slides, nothin' fancy, but it's quiet out there." Another pause. "Doesn't seem super haunted either, and like, at this rate, that's really all I'm lookin' for."

Red finally laughs, quiet but open, easy in Green's company. "The arboretum is still, too." 

"Not haunted, you don't think?" Red shakes his head. "Nice. That's prob'ly for the best, huh? You've got your greenhouse out there that you're gonna do some work in for class, right?"

Red nods, quiet, but Green doesn't seem to mind the silence, and it makes him feel easier, safer than he's ever felt with anyone before. The wind rustles the leaves above them. They're quiet and it's okay that they're quiet because neither one demands any words of the other, and it's just, just… nice. _Nice_ is an understatement but Red can't put the feelings in his chest into proper words. Even as the trees clear and the playground comes into view, Red can't find the words. Maybe they're unnecessary. 

"...kinda hope the neighborhood nearby doesn't think we're weird for bein' out here, come to think of it," Green mentions off-handedly, and Red just shrugs, a bit apprehensive. "Eh, whatever. If they've got a problem, they can fight me."

"Please don't fight anyone." 

"What, do _you_ wanna do it?" Red shakes his head quickly, feels a bit of tension at even the thought. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, relax! I wouldn't let anyone yell at you or anything, I promise."

...he's wonderful. Green is simply wonderful.

He waves Red over to the swings, sits on one and kinda kicks himself off the ground, and Red mimics the gesture. The chains barely squeak even under their weight, the music from the festivities has become completely inaudible. The sun is getting low in the sky, not so dark yet but approaching a golden hour. 

Red sneaks a glance at Green, who seems to be deep in thought. His eyes are a sort of golden, Red realizes. Gold or amber or honey or sunbeams, something like that. They are the windows to the soul and Green is made of something truly beautiful. He has a certain energy to him, Red has noticed. He is a medium first but he does notice the energy of the living second, sometimes they're noisy like Lyra and sometimes they're quiet like Kris, sometimes soft like Ethan, sharp like Silver, up and down and all over the place like Leaf; he doesn't think he's ever met any two people who have truly had the same sort of essence to them.

But now he's met Green, sunshine when all else is steeped in shadows, and everything pales in comparison to him. Impossible to see the candlelight of everyone else through his sunshine, an unimaginable luster that makes diamonds look dull. There's a vibration around him that just feels _right -_ and yet so strange all the same, Green is perceptive and Green has a way of attracting not necessarily things beyond the veil but just _oddities._ The other day a stray cat waltzed right up to him and rubbed against his leg, and a professor came out of the building and explained that it was their resident stray, _she hates people though, I'm surprised she likes you so much,_ and Green had just shrugged and patted her head and the cat purred and Red had wondered how nice it would feel to have Green's hands on him instead.

Sure, Red is lovesick. Perhaps that explains why he feels this way around Green. It doesn't explain why the world sees something special in him, too. 

Maybe the explanation is unnecessary, Red decides. Maybe it's enough to know Green and to be a part of his life.

"You look pensive."

Red doesn't flinch when Green speaks this time, easier in the silent autumn air. Green's voice is low and sweet and it reverberates in Red's chest a bit and it feels warm and comforting, feels like a campfire. "I'm fine."

"You can be fine and pensive," Green posits. "What's on your mind?"

"You."

Oh. Oh no. He didn't mean to - to - 

"Wh-What do you mean?" Green chuckles a bit but there's some tension in his voice. Air's getting thick.

"I-I… just…" There's only one excuse that comes to mind. "Th-Thinking. I wanna make something for you if you're gonna be around a seance."

"Oh, yeah? What, uh - what do you mean?" Lighter, but still… something. Suspicion that hasn't quite faded and he can't tell if Green minds. 

"Something protective," Red answers vaguely, even though that _is_ the honest answer, now that they're on this track. "Are you allergic to anything?"

"Nope. Why? Is it food, or something?"

Red laughs a bit. "No, no. Probably just a satchel. Rosemary and sage, maybe a few other herbs… lavender, probably." Pause. "I could make you some bread, though, if you want. It's one of the only foods I know how to make."

"Dude, genuinely, that's awesome," and Red senses Green's more interested in the bread. "I'm not even joking, if you wanna make me some bread, I'll cook somethin' up for you one of these days. I, uh, dunno anything about satchels or anything though, so I'll have to come up with somethin' to repay you, I guess."

"You can repay me by being careful." 

"Fair." Green kicks at the ground again, swings a little more. "But really, I'm not joking about that. You, me, the dorm kitchen; we're gonna have a cooking day."

Red smiles, swings in time with Green. "That sounds nice."

"Anything's nice with you."

Green says the words so softly that Red wonders if he was supposed to hear them at all, but his heart flutters nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i had this finished ages ago and just... never posted it apparently?? how strange
> 
> anyway here's some soft filler! because found family is cute and so is nameless uvu sorry it's so long but i actually do have the next chapter done, only bc i was _positive_ that i'd already posted this one. i'm sliiightly on a roll with this but i jinxed myself when i said that about _something, everything about you_ so i guess we'll see what happens :0
> 
> (sidenote i know that "accountant" on tiktok means... y'know, _accountant,_ but i'd been taking it to mean _mafia boss_ when Silver says Giovanni is an "accountant." now that it's got another connotation when i reread that bit i started cackling ngl)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Something already feels wrong. He can't tell if it's his nerves or not._

"I swear to god, the next one of you to use a blue shell on me is going to die by my hand."

The pizza boxes are all but empty, they're on their twelfth round of Mario Kart, and Green is maybe kinda starting to lose it. Sucks that his perfectionism spans to even recreation, but hey, he's gotten used to it at this point. The immediate feeling of _please do_ not _let me be a failure_ usually fizzles out within some minutes anymore, admittedly, and admittedly, that's kinda thanks to Red.

Funny how Red still permeates his mind, even in his absence.

He had given Green a little satchel of herbs, actually, with some sort of crystal in there for "good measure," apparently. Green had commented that _I really dunno how all this works,_ and Red had replied with a simple _just trust me and it'll be okay,_ and that's genuinely the easiest thing to do. Even though Leaf is the more brazen "investigator" of the two, when Green needs help or confirmation or simply _comfort_ he turns to Red. He's got this quiet sort of presence that brings Green back down off his never ending whirlwind of activity, and it's… nice, honestly. He's usually one to hate being stagnant for more than a few minutes, but he enjoys the silence with Red.

He does genuinely miss Red a bit here, though, even in the company of everyone else. It feels a bit like some sort of weird family they've made for themselves, and it's nice, but hearing Red's quiet voice still makes him feel warm. Even seeing him sign, knowing he's communicating somehow or another - Green finds himself enraptured every time.

Granted, Green's own sign language is a bit dicey, since he skipped that elective in favor of an extra science course in his senior year, but he's relearning it from his high school days. Leaf mentioned off-handedly after they left the arboretum with their pumpkins that Red uses sign language and Green had been absolutely bewildered because _Red, why didn't you tell me sooner? I'll pick it back up and we can chat a bit easier in no time, alright?_

And Red had nodded, smiled, and signed _thank you,_ and Green felt something that he's still struggling to put into words.

"Okay, new plan, new plan!" Lyra half-shouts over the sound of turtle shells and crashing cars. "If I win this next round, we move to the Ouija board, okay?"

 _"Not_ okay, no," Green half-snaps, desperate for that win now, "but I feel like you're not gonna give us another option, huh?" 

"Nope!"

"Ugh."

"Relax, Green," Leaf coos, patting his head from behind, making him flinch because she just wants to torture him, huh? "I'll save you if anything tries to drag you off to hell."

"Terrifying! Thanks!"

"You're very welcome!"

"Can I win _one_ race tonight, please?" Ethan whines, half laughing and half begging. "Just one! That's all I need!"

"You could've won that last one on Rainbow Road if you didn't look at _my_ screen at the last second," Silver comments.

"I got distracted!"

"By what?"

"Rosalina!"

"Ethan, you dumbass!"

"She's pretty, okay?!"

"Green would've won Rainbow Road either way," Lyra cuts in, and she's fucking gaining on him oh boy, "since he's our resident gay."

"S-Since - I beg your fuckin' pardon?"

He's distracted enough that Lyra pulls ahead, wins, and he feels like all the world's eyes are on him at that (presumably joking?) comment.

"I win!" Lyra offers no further elaboration. Green will take the reprieve. 

"Alright, whatever. I'll toss the pizza boxes while you're doing whatever the fuck."

"Oh, Green," Leaf catches his arm before he walks off, "can you turn off one of the light switches while you're over there?"

"Absolutely not, any other questions?"

"Turn one of the switches off." Silence. "It can be the one further away from us, if you want. It just needs to be darker if we're going to try and open communication with anything."

"...fine."

They really do like torturing him, huh? Maybe that's just what family does. It's less tortuous than going home to his biological family, though, so he'll take it. 

"Leaf, can I ask you something about your process?" 

Kris is asking. Leaf stares her down and things start to feel heavy. "...sure."

Green holds his breath a bit. Anytime Kris and Leaf talk, there's a bit of tension. It's different from the tension between him and Leaf, not grounded in a natural, understandable _don't you dare hurt my brother_ defensiveness, no. Between the two of them that animosity grows from skepticism and belief, _I'll believe it if you can prove it_ and _I've already proven it, you just don't want to believe me._ They're the conversations that have made Red slink away a bit, inch toward Green and away from the debate, and Green always puts himself between the two as best he can but honestly, even he feels a little uneasy about the never-ending battle. He's fighting that battle himself in his own head and he doesn't need it to be actualized in front of him.

"You are aware of the ideomotor phenomenon, yes? How do you account for that in the use of a spirit board?"

"You don't really," Leaf admits, voice terse. Green flicks the far lights of the room off (which happens to plunge him into darkness but that's fine, it's fine) and makes his way back to the group. "You corroborate your answers on the board with other phenomena happening in the room. It's not just a way to reel ghosts in; it's an open door. Sometimes you might not get anything concrete."

"And what do you consider to be _concrete,_ then?"

"Anything phenomena where we can't find an answer."

"There's plenty of perfectly natural phenomena that we can't answer," Kris retorts. "We don't know why we experience deja vu or what caused St. Vitus' dance."

"Mm."

That's about where the conversation ends. Green sits beside Kris not to take her side on the matter but to avoid the alternative arrangement near the board. 

"How long are y'all planning on doing this?" he asks, just to cut the silence the two girls created.

"I dunno," Lyra shrugs. "Until I feel something again."

"That's never gonna happen," Silver mutters.

"Of course it won't, but I can dream."

"Maybe we can just ask a couple of things?" Ethan offers. Please just a couple of things. Green thinks that's all he'll be able to take of it, anyway.

"We'll ask questions until I feel we're getting toward thin ice," Leaf decides for the lot of them. "We can't fly too close to the sun with this thing. Spirit boards are a tricky science."

Kris quietly hums, a little _hm_ that Green can barely hear. He feels like she's got the sense that _science_ isn't quite the right word and in a way, Green agrees, but he's not sure what else he'd call it. 

"I'm giving everyone a few ground rules before we begin, and I expect you all to follow them carefully." It's weird hearing Leaf sound so serious, so unfamiliar. She's usually quite peppy in her tone, sometimes inappropriately so (a certain comment about stealing skin comes to mind), so this is odd. "Ask any questions before we start. Clear?"

There's a silent nod from the participants. Her eyes dart to Kris and Green and he feels like she's seeing through them. 

"That goes for the both of you, too."

"R-Right." Green nods.

"Right." Kris is clearly the skeptic here, even voice, clear head.

"First off; do not invite an entity to touch you or anyone else in any way. If it's malicious, it _will_ take you up on the offer. Don't invite it to follow you or anyone else home, either. Don't taunt it. I don't care if you don't believe in this," and she glances at Kris when she says that, "you don't put someone at risk like that."

Kris nods. Green thumbs over his jacket pocket. The satchel Red gave him is still in there.

"Ethan, Silver, Lyra, this is more for you; do _not_ take your hands off the planchet while we're communicating. When we're ready to end the session, we'll lead the planchet to point to _goodbye_ to close the door. You don't take your hands off the board a second before that." 

Room feels cold. Green goes to look to Red for confirmation but Red isn't here.

"Don't ask about god, don't ask when you'll die, and don't ask anything dumb. If any of you start feeling something's really off, we'll close the session to be safe."

...the room feels heavy.

"If any of you are doubting whether or not you wanna do this, say so now, and if you don't feel strong enough to handle it, tap out. I don't handle possessions. I'm _not_ joking about that."

Lyra looks at Ethan who looks at Silver who looks back to Lyra. Seems like they're getting in over their head, based on those expressions, but none of them back down. Green looks at Kris to get a read on the situation, anything to ground himself, but she's staring with an indiscernible expression at the soon-to-begin seance. That's no help. 

There's a lot of rules to this shit, he notes. He wonders how Red could say Leaf only _kinda_ knows how to do this - and if she's only _kinda_ familiar, he wonders what information she's missing.

Hopefully it's nothing important. 

"Are we ready?"

"Ready," Lyra answers. Silver answers with a _mhm_ and Ethan just nods. Green can tell what order these three would die in if this were a movie.

Something already feels wrong. He can't tell if it's his nerves or not. 

"Is there anyone here who would like to speak to us?"

It seems like the room has just… stilled. He's expecting to feel that static electricity Red mentioned one time but he doesn't feel anything, and that's almost worse, actually, almost feels like more of a threat. A calm before the storm but the storm is, in fact, well on its way.

Silver is the first one to break the silence. "Alright, which one of you is moving it?"

"It'd better not be _any_ of you," is Leaf's reply, and things fall silent again. "Yes."

It takes Green a second to realize Leaf read out the board's answer. He leans over just enough to get a better view of the board, and the eye of the planchet is over the capitalized _YES_ in the corner. Lyra looks absolutely _delighted_ while Ethan and Silver are amused but a bit less giddy. 

"What would you like to say to us?"

For a few moments, nothing happens, and Green is one part relieved and one part terrified for the moment something _does_ happen. He doesn't know what to expect - admittedly, he doesn't even know if he's expecting anything at all. He’s really just - above all else, he's just eager to get the hell out of here and call it a day. 

"S. E. L. L." Leaf calls out the letters as the planchet glides across them. Sell?

"What does that mean?" Lyra asks, voice low but not too terribly shaken, as far as he can tell. He almost wishes she'd be a bit more concerned so they would stop, and he could go upstairs without worrying too much about whatever's happening down here. 

The satchel is still tucked neatly in his pocket. He'll be fine, right?

...right? 

"Does it want us to sell our souls?" Ethan asks, half as a joke from the sound of it, because he's looking unsettled and he's probably trying to ease his mind. 

"Did you sell something when you were alive?" Leaf asks, disregards the joke. Asking _do you wanna buy our souls_ probably isn't the best course of action anyway, he figures. 

"C. H. I. L. D." Silver spells the letters this time. It's odd, Green notes, watching the planchet slide across the board. It genuinely doesn't look like one of them is just guiding the others around. Kinda looks like there's someone manipulating the thing with a magnet below the table and their hands are just resting on the plastic piece. It could - could just be his own nerves, though, he thinks it could just be his own nerves, it's gotta be that. Maybe Leaf is just trying to scare them and she's the one moving the planchet. 

Leaf is quiet, and so too is the board. Ethan's the one to speak up this time. 

"I'm not even joking," he starts, voice so low that Green strains to hear it, "is it trying to say it's selling us a child?"

"Not selling anything to _us,"_ Leaf corrects him, "I hope."

She _hopes?_

"What do you mean, _sell child?"_ Leaf asks. 

"Will it answer a question that's that forward?" Kris asks, but Leaf remains focused. 

"Kinda hope not," Green murmurs to her. "I'm not likin' the sound of that."

"Do you think something is actually happening?" Kris' voice is soft enough that only he can hear. 

"...I don't wanna think about it."

"H. E. L. P." Leaf starts dictating the letters, but the others join in a shaky cacophony of letters as the word is spelt out, sent from one plane of existence to this one. It feels a bit like a movie, he has to admit, and he has to admit the theatrics of it make him feel just a little bit easier than if it had said anything less predictable. 

Green watches Silver mouth something out to Leaf, to which she nods, before he speaks. "What do you need help with?" 

Green almost jumps when he hears something tap at the window behind him, but the continued pattering indicates it's just rain starting to fall out there. That's fine. Good god he's not cut out for this shit. He wonders if he wouldn't be so jittery if Red hadn't warned him about how risky these boards can be. 

Then again, nothing terrible has happened yet, so they should be fine at this rate. It's eerie but he hasn't felt threatened or anything. 

"F. U. R. N…" Leaf spells the word, letters slowly tapering off into a hushed voice he can't quite hear from here. "...furnace?"

Terrible! Absolutely terrible. 

"Is there a furnace in the building?" Lyra asks, seemingly eager to get up and explore now. 

"I think the heat is sent from another building on campus," Ethan answers. "'cause I was asking the janitor the other day why it takes awhile for our dorm to heat up, and she said the heat's from across the way."

Leaf seems deep in thought. "Well, that furnace exists, but we don't know if it existed when this spirit was alive." When it was _alive,_ right, it used to be alive. How bizarre. "It may be talking about a furnace from its own time, in which case… mm."

"The words it's said to you are _yes, sell, child, help,_ and _furnace,"_ Kris summarizes, "none of which are seemingly connected in any way."

Leaf looks over to Kris. "You have to make those connections yourself. You decide what does and does not make sense to put together. We're drawing our own conclusions, sure, but we're not shoving puzzle pieces together if they clearly don't fit."

"Mm."

The tension is rising. He's not a fan. 

"Can you ask it something that would prove it's actually in here with us?" Kris requests and no, nope, Green doesn't like the sound of that. 

"Isn't that a _bad_ idea, though?" Green tries to reason. "You don't want it to like, y'know… get too close, yeah?" 

"True, but… mm." Leaf thinks for a moment. He's hoping she'll just continue with her antics, but - 

"Can you name something in this room that we can't see?" Leaf asks, then turns to Kris. "And can _you_ watch the planchet move and write down the letters? It's spelling longer words and I don't wanna lose track of what it's saying."

"Of course," so calmly, cordially. That leaves Green alone over here. 

And slowly, it does answer. Kris writes the word and leaves only Green to sit in anticipation for what it's saying, since everyone else is at the board. He's not curious enough to look for himself, though. 

"Lavender."

"Oh, fuck." He doesn't even try to say it, the words just tumble out, fuck this, he's out, he's done, it's over - 

Leaf turns to Green. "What?"

 _"Your_ brother," and he doesn't know why he says it as if he's blaming Red, Red's probably his only defense right now, "gave me a little bag of like, protective shit before I came down here, 'cause he said - "

"Does it have - "

"Fuckin' of _course_ it has lavender, if it didn't, I wouldn't have a problem right now!" He doesn't mean to snap but god damn it he does not like how the night is progressing. "I'm gonna - I'm gonna bounce, y'all can just keep doing whatever, alright?"

He hears a _Green, wait_ from Ethan, but he's made his mind up. He hates this. He absolutely _hates_ it and he doesn't even - he can't - he's over it, he just wants to go back to his room and study or something. Just do something _normal._

...it's so stupid. A good chunk of the population wouldn't even bat an eye at this shit. Why is he so jumpy? Maybe it's the pervasive unease settling in his chest as he makes his way back up to his dorm, but the nearer he gets, the more he wants to get out of the building altogether, but - but he's literally _fine,_ he's never been in any sort of danger, so… so what? 

He just - he hates this. Absolutely hates it. He hates it because he knows things keep happening around him and now he feels like they're just gonna make everything worse after tonight. 

...he desperately needs consolation. 

[Green: hey so i left the seance whatever the fuck so your sis and all them are on their own]

[Green: like fuck this shit i am *not* a goddamn ghost hunter i'm not about to be down there when shit hits the fan]

[Green: Kris was being a skeptic and told them to ask it to name something in the room that no one could see and it said "lavender" and like why the *fuck* did it have to single me out right like]

[Green: i'm over it man when you said it was a bad idea like i'm really feelin it was a bad idea]

[Green: it said "sell child help furnace" what in the fuck does that even mean]

It takes a few moments for Red to answer, but it's only when Green stops walking to watch the little typing bubble that he realizes how badly he's shaking and he realizes how badly his head hurts and how cold he is and - 

[Red: come to my room]

That's not ominous at all!

[Green: why what's wrong]

[Green: am i fucked]

[Red: nonono D:]

[Red: i wanna help you calm down]

[Red: and make sure nothing followed you - if anything did, it'll be easier to get rid of it now rather than later anyway]

He can't even tell if the tension in his chest is a bad omen or just his nerves, but being around Red _does_ calm him down, so he's not about to protest. Whatever is bothering him should ease up when he gets to Red's room, ghost or not. 

[Green: omw ok]

[Green: do u know how to perform an exorcism by chance lmao]

[Red: yeah]

Green isn't sure whether that should be comforting or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is Green haunted? is he fucking possessed? ~~you used to be my brother~~ find out next time on _everyone is queer and and everything is haunted,_ the feature length fanfiction!  
> anyway please dont actually use a ouija board they're bad news ouo;; and even if you _don't_ actually believe in ghosts, looking up the ideomotor effect and how it relates to spirit communication is actually really interesting in itself :0


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Mostly, Red wanted to find a way to soothe his nerves, but he's never been particularly good at comforting people._

It may be nine at night, but he was waking up from a nap when Green texted.

Red still isn't entirely sure if he woke up  _ because _ of Green's texts, or if Green just got lucky with his timing, but it doesn't really matter either way. The shenanigans kinda slipped his mind until Green messaged him frantically,  _ oh god things went off course and I am not okay right now, _ and now Red is already finding himself picking up the pieces already. Same shit, different day. 

He almost wants to just tell Green  _ you're fine _ and go back to sleep, but he has a sense Green won't be comforted by that answer at all. He shouldn't be napping so close to what should be bedtime anyway. 

When Green knocks on the door, Red pulls himself off the bed a little faster than usual.

"Yo, can I…"  _ come in, _ but Red nods and moves aside before Green finishes his thought. "Y'know, Lyra said if I won that last Mario Kart round, she would've let us keep playing, and I've never been more mad at myself for not being better at video games, man."

"I think she still would've made you get to the seance anyway."

"I mean, yeah, but lemme dream a little."

Red laughs a little, but Green can't manage to force the same sentiment. He wanders into the room, kicks his shoes off, and flops down on the foot of Red's bed. It's a bit of a routine they've gotten into, taking their respective positions and hanging out in the room and either studying or talking or just sitting in comfortable silence because they wanted company. It's - it's nice, oddly enough, Red's not usually one for being around people when he doesn't need to be, but being around Green is always pleasant. 

"Do you think there's a way to exorcise the entire campus, or something?" Green asks after a moment's silence, eyes fixed on the ceiling. 

"Probably not."

"Ugh." Pause. "I mean, yeah, figures, but… c'mon."

Red hops up to the head of the bed, sitting maybe a little closer to Green than he needs to, but lately he's been wanting to close the gaps between them. "Was it bad?"

"I mean, whatever they were talking to figured out somethin' about me, and I  _ hate _ that," he sighs. "Nothing, like… nothing legitimately scary happened besides that, I just - I dunno, man, I just didn't feel great down there and I wasn't about to sit there while they fuck around and find out, y'know?"

Red nods, taking mental notes. "Did you particularly feel weird about something, or was it the atmosphere overall?"

Green thinks for a moment. "I guess like… I mean, both. It started as just the whole situation felt kinda weird, and like, that makes sense, right? 'cause they were talking to ghosts, whatever, of course it's gonna feel janky. That, and Kris and Leaf kept kinda butting heads. They didn't get into a real fight this time, but I dunno if that's holding true still."

Wait. "Are they still down there?"

"Oh yeah," he sighs. "I dunno if they're still at it or not, but I kinda bet they are, all things considered. Unless something happened that made Leaf decide to cut 'em off, they oughta still be doin' whatever they're doing."

Red isn't overly fond of that. "What are they asking?"

"Just like… I guess normal stuff you'd ask a Oujia board.  _ Is anyone here, what does that mean, _ whatever. And - I texted you some already, right?"

Red nods. "Do you remember  _ exactly _ what they asked to get those answers?"

"I dunno, man. I think like…  _ sell _ and  _ child _ were the first couple of things, and then Leaf asked what that means, and it said  _ help, _ and then  _ furnace, _ somethin' like that. Then Kris kinda goaded Leaf into trying to get it to prove itself or whatever, and that's when it mentioned the lavender, and  _ that's _ when I took off."

"Mm. Better that you did." Green looks at Red, concerned, and Red realizes that maybe he sounded too ominous. "It doesn't seem like it's dangerous, based on all that, but it's better not to be around spirit boards overall."

"R-Right, right." Another sigh, but it sounds more nervous than exhausted. "Is it gonna, like… I-I dunno, haunt the dorms, now?"

"If they properly say goodbye and close the door, then no," Red answers. "That should essentially kick the spirit back out. If it's still in the dorms when they finish their session, one of them did something wrong. Kris, maybe."

"Eh, Kris seems responsible, though. Lyra's more of a loose cannon."

"She believes Leaf, though. If Kris doesn't believe there's anything really communicating with them, then she'll see no consequences if she does something wrong." He's seen it happen before.

Green thinks for a moment. "In that case, at least she's not really part of the seance - although Leaf did ask her to start writing answers down."

"Mm."

"...something wrong?"

"No."

His head hurts.

He didn't notice it fully at first, and he didn't notice right when Green walked in, but now he's starting to hear that static, feel that buzz. It's like radiation, in a way, something invisibly creeping out and out and out until there's a full zone around the melted core wherein everything begins to feel nauseating. The fallout is finally reaching up here and it makes him wonder how powerful it must be for him to sense something down in the basement. Usually he needs to be much closer before he can tell. It doesn't feel  _ dangerous, _ at least not yet, it just feels… present. Unusually present. 

"Y'know how you said it's impossible to know what you're actually talking to?" Green asks, suddenly breaking the silence. "What if we tried to research obituaries or somethin'? Would that solve anything?"

Odd of him to be so interested all of the sudden. "Maybe. Are you curious?"

"No, no, I'm just remembering like, old ghost shows grandma used to put on sometimes. They were probably mostly fake, since, y'know, pretty much everything on TV is some kind of fake, but… eh." Green just shrugs. "That was something they did."

Red nods. "Leaf and I have looked into obituaries before. That was something we did more when we lived back at our first home, before she started buying any of her equipment. It was mostly us going around abandoned buildings with just a flashlight and some old recorders and hoping for the best." 

"Yeah? How'd that work out?"

"Could've been worse. It helped that I knew where things were."

"Yeah, I can figure." He stretches out, looks absently around the room. "Can you tell if anything is down there, or…"

"Mhm. It's faint, but they're talking to something."

"Right." Pause. "Is it bad?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like… dangerous?"

" If it were, Leaf would be able to tell by now, I bet ," he answers. "It doesn't seem malicious from here, but I can't really tell unless I get closer. It's weird that I can sense it from this far away, though," he adds quietly. 

"Right."

Green bites his lip. It's a nervous habit Red has noticed he has. The other day he had an exam coming up,  _ never had a college exam before, and Daisy said AP exams are different, so like, y'know, I dunno what to expect, _ and he'd bit his lip hard enough to draw some blood, and Red had told him to be more careful and Green had shrugged it off because  _ it's fine, it doesn't hurt, _ and that was that.

Mostly, Red wanted to find a way to soothe his nerves, but he's never been particularly good at comforting people. Partially, a small part of him had said  _ maybe you can kiss it better _ and Green asked why Red looked so flushed and Red insisted his sweater was too heavy for the weather, that's all.

"...you don't think anything followed me up here, right?"

Red shakes his head. "If it did, I would've sensed it immediately."

"Cool. Cool cool cool." Another nervous habit. It was one Red caught during their first encounter in the library early in the semester, an endearing little quirk of his. "We're, like… we're safe here, then, right?"

"Mhm."

"It's not gonna come up to my room or anything?"

Red isn't sure if he should just lie or not, but he gets the sense Green would catch on. "It could. There's no reason it would, for now."

"Cool! Great!" Based on his tone, he doesn't think the possible chance is either cool or great. 

"...do you want me to put salt around your room?"

"That actually works?"

"Yeah. That's why we do it."

"I thought that was like… for sea bears." Red tries to stay quiet in the evenings to be courteous to the dorms next door, but he absolutely loses it over that, struggles to stifle his laughter at all. "Don't fuckin' - listen, I dunno how this stuff works! You're the expert!"

"But why was  _ that _ your first thought?" Red laughs.

"I dunno, man, maybe I got cartoons on my mind, whatever!"

He's really cute sometimes.

"Sea bears aside," and he notices Green is finally smiling, his shoulders seem less tense, eyes seem brighter, really cute sometimes, "do you want me to put salt around your room?"

"That might be good for peace of mind, yeah." 

Red hops off the bed at that, pulls the container of salt off the shelf of his dorm's desk. It's partially up there for cooking purposes but it does have its paranormal uses. Red motions to the door and Green follows, kicking his shoes back on silently and trailing after Red. 

It's funny. Usually people get annoyed with how quiet Red is, but Green has picked up on his wordless language. 

It's really nice, actually. He feels a little more normal around Green.

"I'm gonna put some in front of your bedroom door, then around the corners of the room," Red explains, voice low in the hallways. "Maybe a line along the bathroom door, too. Be careful around the mirror for the next few days. If something feels wrong with it specifically, tell me."

"Right." Green matches his volume. "And then we're all good?"

"Ideally," and the slight uncertainty makes Green wince a little. "If it stays in the building, it at least won't get into your room. Any other clingy spirits won't be able to follow you inside either, although you haven't had anything attached to you like that so far."

"Y-Yeah, yeah."

Green lets Red into his bedroom and Red gets to work, settling a steady, solid line just a short ways in front of the door. It's not like spirits can't make their way through walls, incorporeal as they are, but the presence of salt at the doorstep indicates to the less malicious ones that they are not welcome, that this is a pure space, the veil is not thin enough for them to enter this place. Dots of salt at the corners of the room are a healthy back-up, though. Dad had one time encircled their entire property in salt (it took a good three cans of it), but for working on precaution alone, Red feels that might be overkill for now. 

"...after this, um," Green starts as Red is just about finished salting his room, "do you wanna like… I dunno, do something?"

Red looks at him. "Like what?"

"I dunno, man, just something that doesn't involve being in the same building as an active seance. We can probably still run out and grab milkshakes before the ice cream place closes, it's not all that late, yeah?"

"...is that a date?"

"L-Look, not every one-on-one hangout is a date, man!"

"I come purify your dorm and you won't even take me on a date? I'm hurt, Green."

Green blushes but he laughs, and Red grins, flutters inside. He's not entirely joking and he's not sure how long it'll take Green to realize that. 

"Call it whatever you want, I just wanna get outta here. I'm too jumpy right now."

Then he'll call it a date. He won't tell Green, but he'll call it a date.

"Lemme get dressed, then I'll meet you back here."

Green looks Red up and down and Red can't help but feel oddly transparent, now. "Wait, were you about to go to bed, or…"

"N-No, just…"

"...were you napping again?"

"...maybe."

"Man, this is why you don't sleep at night."

"N-No, I nap at weird times because I  _ can't  _ sleep at night!"

Green rolls his eyes, amused. "Yeah, yeah. Meet me back here when you're ready." 

He'll call it a date.

It's definitely a little cold for milkshakes, but Red's fond of the cold anyway. It's a lucky break, that he doesn't mind it, since the cold tends to cling to him. The frail fabric of the veil is like a sort of draft, energy gets sucked out of the corporeal and into the ether beyond, haunted rooms feel frigid and the spirits around feel even more so.

Weird kid. Weird little life he leads.

And Green is here for it now.

And it makes him so, so happy, so much happier than he knows how to say. He knows he's a strange person and he knows he's hard to be around, hell he even feels he's half the problem sometimes. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes,  _ I'm too weird for people to be around _ and so he doesn't bother to reach out, and no one is there to meet him halfway because he never comes to the midpoint. 

But now there's Green, and the formula is scrambled.

Green met Red in a dimly lit library stairway, and he reached out, walked toward the boundary between one and the other, and Red, Red stood and stared and debated within himself whether or not to take a step toward him, and Green had simply stood and waited ever so patiently for Red's arrival or lack thereof. He waited and when Red reached out with chewed fingernails and cold palms Green held on and paid the imperfections no mind and it's just - he's just - 

It feels wonderful to have someone so  _ mutual. _ Feels nice to sit out in the cool autumn air with even cooler milkshakes on a cool stone bench and just talk about anything. Feels nice to be surrounded by nothing but empty air and Green's company.

Feels nice to be wanted, even when he's so strange.

"...Green."

"Hm?"

And it's been on his mind for weeks, and it's only now, as Green is settling down, probably ready to get himself back to the dorm at any moment, as he's starting to shiver in the breeze - it's only now that Red finally asks.

"Do you think I'm weird?"

Red looks at Green, but Green avoids any eye contact with Red. Green lets out a quiet hum and bites his lip and Red already knows the answer.

"...y'know, I've never understood why people say  _ weird _ when they mean  _ bad. _ "

What?

"There's a lotta things that are weird that are nice, y'know," Green muses. "Y'know butterflies - when they're caterpillars, they eat constantly, and then when they're ready to go into their cocoons, they get in there and turn into cellular mush before they come out as a butterfly later on. That's weird, right? It literally  _ melts down, _ but that's not a bad thing. Just a weird part in the life of something really cool."

He can see where this is going but he isn't sure if he agrees all the way.

"Auroras are weird, too. It's the solar wind that hits our magnetic field and gives us a light show. And it only happens up north, too, it makes sense on paper but when you think about it, the whole thing is  _ weird. _ It's weird that there's even life on earth. Doesn't matter how we got here, it's all a matter of a lotta things happening in the right way at the right time, and it's weird that it all worked out."

But Green is, perhaps, quite persuasive. 

"So, I mean… I think you're weird, but I like that about you. I guess most people would be like,  _ oh, if you're the  _ good  _ kind of weird, we say you're unique, _ but it's all the same thing at the end of the day. We're all talking about things that are out of the ordinary for some reason or another. Strange, unusual, weird, unique, queer - I-I mean, that last one has a different sorta connotation in recent years, but… y-y'know."

"Mhm."

The air hangs quietly around them for a moment, light and crisp. "If you're asking if I think you're weird as in, like… do I  _ not  _ like that about you, then no. You're weird, and I like that you're weird."

"...I really like you, Green."

Red surprises himself when he says it, realizes just what he's said and how bluntly he's put it, and now he feels too hot in the evening breeze and he can't keep looking at Green because god that was not the right thing to say - 

"I like you too."

_ I like you too. _

The words kinda tumble in Red's mind for a few moments, and he looks back at Green after a moment of building up the courage, but Green is looking out onto the campus. His expression is a soft smile, a smile in his eyes, the warm glow of the street light coats him in beautiful amber and, and - 

"I'm glad we're friends, Red."

\- and -

"Me too." 

Weird little life he leads. Weird little butterflies in his chest. Weird little dynamic they have, teetering on the edge of love and something just shy of it.

"Thanks for salting the dorm, by the way." Green breaks the silence and Red falls out of the moment, comes down from his cloud nine. "I forgot to thank you for that earlier, but it really does mean a lot to me, y'know."

"You're welcome. I-I'm glad I could help."

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, you ever need my help with anything, gimme a call, alright? I really owe you one, at this point."

"Mm," Red shrugs. "You don't. We're friends. Friends help each other, right?"

"Then, as  _ your _ friend," and Green leans in a little, just to taunt Red, but Red feels his heart leap into his throat, "I oughta help you with somethin' one of these days, right? You just lemme know."

"R-Right."

Green notices the stutter, Red knows he notices, because there's a bit of confusion in his eyes and he stays this close for a little too long and Red feels absolutely transparent now.

"No pressure, though," he adds, as if that's what's bothering Red. "I just want you to be happy, y'know?"

"Y-Yeah. You too."

Red can't be positive, but he swears he hears a muttered  _ oh, honey  _ under Green's breath, and his heart nearly explodes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't have much to say other than i have been ignoring my responsibilities for this fic and also my sanity  
> i also apparently did some unintentional foreshadowing here :)! anyway these boys are in love  
> no proofreading we die like men


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"College is hard."_   
>  _"Which part; the social life, the academics, or the unexplained phenomena?"_   
>  _"All of it, man."_

"It's still kinda cool that it spelled out my name at one point."

"Still terrifying! Thanks!"

"Nah, it was alright. It seemed…"

Green sits patiently as Ethan is cut off by a long yawn, stretching his arms out in front of him. He'd been particularly tired the day after his ghostly escapades, but it seems like the fatigue isn't eager to leave him any time soon. It's odd, actually, seeing him this lowkey. Green is used to Ethan being a whole bundle of energy, and the low that he's at right now is actually worrying.

"It seemed friendly," Ethan finally finishes. "Nothing weird has happened since then, so we're totally fine, right?"

"I sure hope so," Green shrugs. "Are  _ you _ okay, though? You've been real outta it lately."

"Aw, don't worry about me. You have a fancy banquet to go to tonight!"

"Pfft, please. It's nothing big, just some Honor's Society inauguration shit. You gotta look nice, but it's not a huge deal. It's just a bunch of gifted kids chatting and eating whatever they serve up."

"Sounds festive. You think you can bring something back for me? I asked Kris to do it, but she said no."

"I'll see if I can sneak something out," he laughs. "Maybe some coffee. It's barely sundown and you're about to pass out, man."

"Mm, yeah, but… oh well."

"I  _ am _ actually kinda worried, you know."

Ethan shrugs a little. "I dunno, maybe it's a cold coming on? I get sleepy when I'm sick."

"Hm… you have any symptoms?" Because if he does, Green oughta keep a little bit of distance while Ethan heals up.

"No. Not yet, anyway."

"You want me to grab you some Nyquil on my way home? The thing ends at eight and the market closes at ten, I'll be able to swing by before - "

"N-No, no, don't worry about it! I don't wanna make you go out of your way like that." 

Odd indeed. Ethan's not high maintenance but he's no stranger to asking favors of anyone.

"Well…" It's a losing battle. "If you decide you need it, I have a bit in my bathroom drawer. It's all yours."

"...thanks, Green." Another belated answer from another yawn. "I'm gonna make dinner and… maybe turn in early, I guess."

"Well, goodnight to you if I don't see you again 'til tomorrow." He's trying not to sound too concerned, but he can't help it. "Rest up, man."

"Will do."

Green takes one last look at himself in his phone camera before heading out the door.

Normally he'd have been a little quicker in getting ready, but it's hard to clean his hair up with a phone in his hand the whole time. Red had warned him about the mirror in the bathroom, and sure, maybe it's been some days long enough that he'd be safe to look in it again, but Red had said something about not trusting mirrors on haunted ground,  _ shouldn't even be here, _ or something, and it's stuck with him. He can check his looks on his phone or in the reflections of the picture windows in the stairwells, and that's good enough for him. He's worn this outfit before anyway, he knows he looks presentable.

He almost wore it to prom before he backed out.

He was supposed to go with a girl from his history class. They'd ended up in one mutual class every year of high school, and they subsequently became friends somehow or another. He was the academic star but she was a sports prodigy, had all sorts of trophies in gymnastics and lacrosse and  _ especially _ swimming, she'd been a swimmer her whole life and was known for that if not her orange hair. People had joked  _ hey, it's the ginger couple again, _ and he'd laughed it off, and one day she asked  _ are we really a couple _ and he just - he - it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

And then the idea of prom came up, slow dancing and hand holding and kissing in a dimly lit gymnasium, and he just… couldn't. He told everyone he got sick, skipped the next Monday just to make it look convincing enough, came back and told her  _ you shouldn't get too close, still dunno how contagious I am, _ and she'd kinda laughed it off and so had he and that was the story and he stuck to it. 

Looking back on himself, he wonders why it took until then to realize he was gay.

Looking forward, he wonders how long it'll take before he can be true to himself.

Maybe college would be a good time to pick up the label, pull it out of his back pocket and pin it quietly to his backpack and people will take note and say very little about it and it'll be okay. Maybe he already has Lyra's teasing or Leaf's suspicion, whatever, it's fine. They're not being malicious; but he's  _ straight, _ as far as they know, but he knows he  _ isn't, _ and he just doesn't know if it's  _ okay _ \- and of course it is, there's nothing wrong with  _ not  _ being straight, but he doesn't know if it's okay for  _ him, _ and, and… 

He thought he was keeping his appearances up just fine, honestly. He thought he'd shoved that part of him in a closet somewhere and effectively avoided confronting it. 

He was doing great until he met Red. If he could go back in time and ignore Red that night, he wouldn't take the chance, but goddamn it life has been complicated since they met.

...that's enough thinking about that for now. He has to be at least somewhat mentally present tonight.

By the time he snaps himself out of thought, he's about at the honor's building, a good walk across campus from his East dorm. It's a decidedly more elegant looking facade than the rest of campus, albeit it is, literally and figuratively, just a facade. He's come to know that honors kids aren't all they think they're cracked up to be, himself included. A part of him almost regrets getting himself into this, but he's here now.

So too is Kris.

"Yo, Kris," he calls, and she glances up from her phone, looking a little out of sorts herself. Hopefully she's not coming down with something too.

"Hey," she waves, sounding a little tired. 

"You good?"

"Y-Yeah, just… feeling a little out of place. It's been awhile since I've had to actually dress up for something like this."

"Oh yeah? Last time I got dressed up was our high school graduation banquet."

"Well, I had that, too, I just… forgot to pack any other formal clothing." 

He looks her up and down, realizes she's wearing this rich blue a-line dress, with metallic threads woven into it. A bit more dressy than the button up and dress pants he's got on, but he's already seen people walking in looking flashier.

"I dunno. I think it suits you."

"Mm. I'd have rather had an outfit more like yours."

He laughs a bit. "Well, if they fit, you can borrow some of my clothes next time, no sweat. I was worried you were gettin' sick too for a minute there."

"Too? Don't tell me you came out here when you're - "

"No, no, Ethan," he corrects. "He's been exhausted the past few days, says he thinks he's comin' down with something." 

"Mm… I'll have to check in with him at some point. We haven't talked at length since last weekend."

Yeah, since the goddamn seance. Right.

"I've heard the story from pretty much everyone at this point," he says, nods to the building in this silent  _ it's cold, let's get inside, _ "but how do  _ you _ think it went?"

"Good, I guess?" It's more a question than an answer. "I'm not familiar with this kind of thing, you know. I'm not sure what would've been a good seance or a bad one."

"I mean, a bad one would've involved someone being haunted."

"Then it seems all is well."

The building inside is nicely decorated, a little too fancy for Green's liking, but it's still clearly a school building at the end of the day. That main entryway has the same sort of aesthetic as that late 1800s castle at the head of campus, but the hallways branching off have that distinct white-painted cinder block look he's come to recognize around campus. The place almost feels like an impostor.

So does he.

It's something that sticks in his mind through the welcoming ceremony, which is just a slew of alumni trying to really sell the program to kids who are already accepted into the honor's society, so it seems a little redundant. They talk about the best of the best though, pioneers in medicine, engineering, education, history, just successful 40-somethings doing things that successful 40-somethings do, and yet Green still feels like he's running late at the ripe old age of eighteen.

He wonders if Kris ever feels the same, or if she can effectively ward off the impostor syndrome.

He wonders if she'd be offended if he asked.

He waits until the president of the society finishes the tail end of her speech, congratulates the inaugurated kids - and that's kinda what they are, and somewhere along the line he became aware of that. He thinks it's the jumping at ghost stories that finally made him realize that a college freshman is about the same as a high school senior, and he's on his own, he can make his own choices and follow his own path, but at the end of the semester he'll still go home to a dysfunctional family. Still enough of a kid to get scared of shadows, enough of a kid to get angry at his gramps, but old enough to be the  _ future of our society, _ old enough to get his own groceries and study the complex workings of cellular microstructures and genetic mutations.

"So, Kris," and he finally gets the words out, sitting across from her with a plate of food that feels too fancy for a college kid, "do you ever feel like you aren't as good as people think you are, or is that just me?"

She grins, a bit of a bitter look, but empathetic nonetheless. "Impostor syndrome getting to you already?"

"Maybe."

She sighs, shakes her head. "Oh, Green. I've known you for just a few months but I feel like I understand you inside and out by now."

He tries to grin back, beat down the sheepishness he feels at that comment. "Look, I'm tryin' to have some peace of mind, here."

"Well…" she pauses, thinking. "Yes and no, respectively. I know  _ objectively _ we're only just starting college, so it makes sense that I'm no prodigy anymore - and maybe I never  _ was _ back in high school. It's an easy system to game. I know I'm smart, but I know I haven't been alive long enough to be anyone's miracle yet."

To be someone's miracle. What a strange way to say that.

"But, subjectively, going from high school to here has made me feel like I should've done more to prepare. I just don't know  _ what." _

"Yeah, they don't totally teach you how college is gonna treat ya in high school," he sighs. "You don't, like… you don't feel like  _ you're  _ the one fooling other people, though, huh?"

She's quiet for a moment, sipping her ice tea, letting the white noise of the other students' chatter fill the pause. It feels loud, Green notes. Ever since - god, not to immediately think of Red again, but he's been feeling like he can sense the noise around him more acutely since they met. His mind will flash a little,  _ it's too loud for him, _ but there's no Red here and the noise isn't a bother to anyone and there's no reason to even consider it.

"I think," Kris answers at last, "that I may let people down. I don't doubt what I've done. I just don't know how much further I can go."

"Right." And that's never quite occured to Green, actually, he's always figured  _ I can always do better, I'll be the best one day, _ but… if there is a level cap, so to speak, if there's a limit to how far he can go, then… 

"But I don't like to dwell on my existential dread," Kris hums, and Green laughs a bit at how lightly she says that. "I'm here if you wanna chat, but I can't offer a lot of my own thoughts. I don't read too much into it."

"Fair enough. Prob'ly saves you a lot of stress in the long run, eh?"

"Mhm." She seems to want to say something else, but she flips the topic, and the prior train of thought is lost. "You said you think Ethan's sick?"

"He said that, yeah. I wouldn't be shocked, but I'm kinda surprised Lyra or Silver haven't mentioned it at all. Not like I see 'em as much as I do you or Red, but…"

"That is odd, right. They're around me pretty often, but I hadn't heard that he wasn't feeling well."

"You think he's hiding it from 'em?"

"Perhaps, but I don't know if he's the type to do that. Silver would be, but I don't know Ethan well enough to make that call." Pause. "I'll check on him one of these days, so don't be too shocked if I show up out of the blue."

"Hey, door's always open. Just knock if you're gonna try to get into my bedroom in particular - and step over the salt."

"Salt?" 

"Yeah, Red salted the room after y'all did your little stunt down there." The look of amusement on her face suddenly makes him feel a little awkward for having mentioned it at all. "Look, man, I just - "

"You just wanted an excuse to spend time with him, sure."

"N-No, no, I… uh…"

She gives him this sneaky grin that makes him squirm in his seat. "Let's get some fresh air, shall we?"

Ugh. He doesn't have much choice, does he?

The breeze is crisp outside and the air is quiet. The cobblestone pathway leads away from the building and up to an arch, then to some mostly wilted garden, dead in October but beautiful in its own right. It's a far cry from the stuffy hall they just left. He's kinda glad he doesn't have classes in that building, at least for now. The ventilation must be broken or something, because it feels almost hard to breathe in there. At the very least, it doesn't feel haunted.

Huh. Funny how he can kinda feel these things now. 

"I don't mean to be  _ too  _ invasive," Kris starts, and to Green, that just means  _ I do mean to be invasive but I'm trying to feign politeness, _ "but you seem particularly attached to him."

"How is that  _ not  _ invasive?"

"I'm just pointing out something I noticed. You major in science too, don't you? You know the importance of documenting your observations."

Oh you little - "Whatever, man. I just… whatever."

She's quiet for a moment, staring him down. "You can come out whenever you're ready, you know. I don't mean to press, but it is safe to do so."

Ah shit. "I beg your fuckin' pardon?"

She grins a bit. "You said the same thing when Lyra was teasing the other day."

"Y-Yeah, 'cause - y'know, that - y-you're kinda comin' outta left field, here!"

"I know." God she's so damn smug. 

"I mean… I dunno, man. I duno."

"You can't just say you don't know in response to everything, Green."

"Well, I don't! Look," and he crosses his arms, "I know a lotta shit. I know biology and chemistry, I'm learnin' more about it every day. I'm relearning sign language, I know a good amount of that. I know my way around most of campus and I know what restaurants downtown are good and I know enough to be part of the honor's society. I just…" and he falters now, looks down, realizes the severity of the situation. "I just don't know about this."

She's quiet another moment, always considering her words carefully before she says them. "You don't know how you feel about him, then?"

He bites his tongue. "It's… i-it's complicated."

"I see." Pause. "I do hope you know you wouldn't be alone if you were to come out, though."

He winces. "I still have to go home at the end of the semester."

"Is that what's holding you back, then?"

"Yeah." Mostly. 

"Mm." The moment of silence around them is welcomed, honestly. "...on another note, though" Kris says, "you  _ are  _ able to admit you're knowledgeable about things, so that's a plus, isn't it?"

He almost scoffs. "Only when someone doubts me."

She smiles, leans against the arch. "Sometimes spite is our greatest motivator, isn't it?"

"You think so?"

"I went to the same high school as Silver," she says vaguely. "I've seen it in action."

"Knowing him, that's not surprising."

She laughs a bit, a strangely muffled sort of noise. "He's got his quirks. Honestly, I'm surprised he likes Ethan so much."

"Are they an item, or what?"

"About as much as you and Red are."

"Ugh." Shouldn't have said anything, huh?

"I do mean that," she adds. "They're having the same experience of  _ I'm interested in you but I don't know how to say it _ lately."

Even in the cool, he feels warm when she says that. "I mean… i-is it that obvious on my end?"

"It's a little more obvious from Red, honestly," which is a bit comfort - _wait what -_ "Regardless, I don't intend to press either matter. You'll make your moves whenever you decide to do so."

"...right." He sighs, feels a wave of fatigue overcome him.  "College is hard."

"Which part; the social life, the academics, or the unexplained phenomena?"

"All of it, man."

She grins, wraps her arms around herself as the breeze kicks back up. "Can't say I disagree."

"You cold? Wanna borrow my jacket?"

"Oh, it's fine. As long as I don't catch whatever Ethan has, heh."

"Yeah, he's been outta it since… since last weekend, I guess." Wait. Wait that's - "Did things like… get worse after I left?"

She hesitates. "There were things that happened that I'd struggle to explain if I were asked to do so."

"So you believe something went down, then?"

"It was odd," is her answer. "The longer they continued the seance, the faster the planchet would move. It spelled out Ethan's name a few times, too. The third time was about when Leaf decided something felt wrong, and she called the session off."

Green doesn't say anything, but the dots are connecting, and he doesn't like the picture they're tracing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact, Green's ex-not-quite-girlfriend is Misty for the following reasons: they are gym leaders and they have spiky orange hair. that's it. i also headcanon Misty as a lesbian so they are truly the mlm/wlw solidarity out here   
> a little slower chapter this round, we've got less of the _paranormal_ and more of the _college_ part of this au, unless you look at Ethan and feel the impending doom uvu! in college news, Green has impostor syndrome and so do i. how have i not failed out of college yet. i've done no academic work in over a week.


End file.
